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wTuesday, November 11, 2003 www.livejournal.com/users/miamigirl1288 I can't get these links to work, so whatever. Just in case they do this time...here. posted by Teresa at 8:10 PM wSunday, October 19, 2003 Put on Stairway To Heaven and ignore it all. How can something that seems so right, that gives me such a feeling, also make me so miserable? Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe now is the time to dive past it all and pay inhibitions no mind. But maybe There's a sign on the wall And she wants to be sure Cause you know sometimes words Have two meanings. posted by Teresa at 10:20 AM wThursday, October 16, 2003 And I still got a day or two ahead of me Till I'll be headed home into your arms again. Wellllll kids, I believe this is it. movation to livejournal...here we go, yall. I am going to miss this place, in big ways. And you might want to check back eversooften, cause there's a good chance this place will remain in service. Man, it hasn't even been a year since I started this thing...that's insane, yall, straight crazy. Sigh for time, in more than one way, and its neverending ability to amaze me. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 4:30 PM wTuesday, October 14, 2003 We don't have much room to live. The imood explanation: incredible, because that's how I feel. angry, because I'm not really, but I am angry at imood, because it won't let me feel unspeakable or exhilarated or admiring or invigorated. Damn you, imood. The Cubs lost....sorry, David. mmmmvanillacoke (11:09:14 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mmmmvanillacoke (11:09:37 PM): i am going to kill any person wearing a marlins shirt tomorrow mmmmvanillacoke (11:09:42 PM): kill them mmmmvanillacoke (11:09:52 PM): ow shit mmmmvanillacoke (11:09:55 PM): i just punched the wall I watched Boy Meets World tonight and it made me laugh, multiple times. Fiesta! Tomorrow's a B-day, which if Ms. Heath is absent again will rock my socks times 987259874958729458724. Typing in random numbers is extreme amounts of fun. : D Slowdancing in the quiet moments... Sleepwalking in the summer rain. Matchbox Twenty-- The Difference. If you don't have it, you need it, times 9879879876867. The difference between what you need And what you wanna be. Yeah, girl, what you wanna be. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Sigh for jean skirts on October days, and smiles that don't stop, and lots of sleep, and beautiful music when it fills your ears. I'm damned but don't let this fade away, don't let this fade away, don't let this fade away. If you say it enough, does it come true? Day breaking on the boulevard Feel the sun warming up your second hand heart Light swimming right across your face and you think Maybe someday, yeah Maybe someday, yeah. For all you know, yeah...for all you know. Tomorrow, math test, a rockin b-day lunch with clairebear, hopefully a chem sub, physics homework during class, and the third humanities group. Good deal, my friends, good deal. ps- if some people don't straighten themselves out, ball kickage will commence. and castration will follow. thankyouthatisall. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 11:12 PM w In other news, I just added some people I don't know very well on lj. But they are cool and it's all good...thanksthatisall. posted by Teresa at 6:29 PM w Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now... Because you don't have to, I already know. On strong people, and others whom I just happen to love more than words. Amanda Pulido...talking to her in gym is beautifulous. She. is. so. strong. And she does not deserve any of the shit that I hear some of yall giving her. So quit it. You hardly know her, you don't know her life, so go mind your own business. You don't know how much she handles or how much she might keep inside or what she might have to go home to, so go mind your own fucking business. She is smart and sweet and gorgeous (as we all know, lol) and strong. And that is all I have to say on that. Claire, my darling Claire...There is more to be said on this, in 10 days, actually...but Claire is one of the most awesomest people I've ever known. And I just have to say how much I love her and her alwaysthereness. And as if the awesomefriendness weren't enough, she's smart and sopretty, as Amanda and I just discussed the other day. And just has this...aura of exceptional coolness. Iloveit. Laura Elizabeth Ingles...You, my darling, go through so much, and more than a lot of people know. And yet you are always freaking there for everyone, and never bring us down, and it's just...amazing. I love you because of everything you do and are and all the strength you are showing right now, and I love you because I know exactly what you're going through to such a lesser degree, and I want you to always come to me like you do now, only times forever and ever. Remember what an awesome little shortie you are, and how little the extra asshole deserves you. Steph...How can someone not love this girl and her exceptional craziness? Yesyesyesiloveit. And I don't remember how I was making it through during that 8th grade crap, eh? And regardless of the crap that I know comes, remember how loved you are Stephanie Corriher. Because it is a lot times 104238710958710239857. Yes, yes it is. Lauren Ashley Valentino...I just heart you a lot, for all of this crap. And I do not like, no not at all, that you're going through this drahmah when you deserve what you should be getting so much more than so many. And the obvious, whom I love more than words. And hate the idea that I could have anything to do with anything that makes you unhappy because...as little time as I've known you, you're just so incredibly strong. And eye heart everything about you, and I almost wish you were angry and bitter so I wouldn't feel so bad but you are such an amazingly wonderful person. And I think you already know all of this but...it's just the way it is. I Love You times 9879865076195871623958716598 trillion billion million. And that was just a random burst of friendlovationness. posted by Teresa at 6:09 PM w IHCMAHGRHAHHG. mrehehehehehe. mrehehehehehe. die and burn in hell, my friend, for the unnecessary pain you cause others. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 5:11 PM w Yesterday after I posted, I went to sleep. Do you know when I woke up? 6:15 AM. 12 hours of sleep on a school night, kiss that. And now, I am going to take another nap. This time, I am setting the alarm. However, this constant extreme tiredness is very disconcerting... If I have mono, I will loff extremaly hard. ~~always~-*tess* ;-D posted by Teresa at 4:56 PM wMonday, October 13, 2003 And I've done all I can To stand on the steps with My heart in my hands. But now, I'm starting to think... Maybe it's got nothing to do with me. Today is a beautiful day to recount the events of the past few, and then curl up in my pretty plaid Abita quilt and fall asleep to thoughts of betterness, ahh. Tell me everything. Well, let's just start with Thursday, shall we? That day was megaincrediblerockation, to a huge extent. All I really remember is a nottoohard chem, and great lunch, and running out and begging for money to buy a barbecue ticket during math. Mrow, good stuff. After school was Caribou with Ian and Stern, which was supposed to be like ClaireIanSternElbieChrisandsomeotherpeopletoo but due to various things such as a sleepy clairebear and band running over, it was just us three. That was, quite possibly, the pickmeup of the week. Especially the free Caramel Coolers. : D Friday was...mm, I don't remember. Oh yeah, the biblical/egyptian lit test kicking my booty. And then drama...talking with Elbster and Fat Russian and Lauren Ross, and getting dumped like 310498372041987320 times in our little skit thing. Lovely, eh? And then oh yeah gym, and spending like 20 minutes "in the bathroom" out at the barbecue. Fiesta! And then the real barbecue, which gave me one of those remarkably poignant moments that's just mrow. : ) I know what you'll say/ This won't last longer than the rest of the day/ But you're wrong this time, you're wrong. And then spanish, which was its own crazay self, you know. And after school...sleep, then crazy packation with Steph and Deeds, then losing at homecoming in the rain. Homecoming was wonderfulous though. I hearted it: good friends, good times, an old fleece jacket, chilly October, thefattiestpieceofpizza...you know the drill. Then off to Fat Russian's to write a speech, talk on the phone, and go to bed. : ) Saturday- up at 4:45 (makes me want to cry just remembering) for showers and getting dressed and running off to school. Yay ahahahaa NO. Then was the tourney, which was rather uneventful...Geeta and I were in a varsity chamber, which kinda blew due to the fact that like half the people in there had been to freaking NATIONALS. Hotdamn. So we didn't place, but the award ceremony rockated. The energy was so high, I lessthanthree that so much. MP got 2nd. Mrow! Then the ride home, which was deep conversations and musical orgasms and hunger pains. Ah. Then to DD's, where Erin gave massages and I ate pizza and cake and went to bed. (Sleeepsleepsleep!)And if you need confirmation, baby, I understand/ It's alright if you want me to tell you you, you got my only heart. Yeah, you got my only heart... Sunday was waking up at 10 for Humanities. Rawwwwwrergh. Oh, and flashing Greg's neighborhood, that was nice too. Then coming home entirely exhausted just to have it all fixated. Then sleep, sweet sleep. Then dinner, then some phone and crazy font competitions, then chem, then sleep (around 1). I adore you but, there's a hole in the cup that should hold my love. If you let, if you let, if you let me leave, I swear I never will.... Which brings us to today! HEY KIDS WHAT DOES AGAMEMNON DO? OH YEAH AGAMEMNON ROCKS! : D It's sooooo good to have it over with. And I have to say, one more weekend with the Nazis and I probably would have imploded. So, I'm just glad it's done, and well done at that. And I just love our death scene...So live and let die. Chem was a sub. So rockation, yes. The work was easy and we had fun with our group efforts. And all of your things Tell the sweetest story line. Your tears on these sheets And your footsteps are down the hall. Mrow. So tell me what I did I can't find where the moment went wrongatall. You can be mad in the morning I'll take back what I said. Just don't Leave me Alone here It's cold baby, come back to bed. I <3 John Mayer, loadsandloads. Lunch was wonderfulous, acourse. Math was easy and SHORT, for once! I survive on the breath you are finished with. Physics was aight, Elbie and I took a nice leisurely walk around campus. : D After school I chilled with Stern and then SEX and WHAT'S THAT STERN? YOU WANT TO BANG THE LOCKERS WHAAAA? : ) And then to Caribou with Alex and Lisa and then Lucy after a while. That was pretty cool. And now, I am just tired, and wishing that I could dictate my thoughts and feelings to myself, because it would be so much easier. It's cold, baby Come back to bed Why don't you come back to bed? Don't hold your love over my head Don't hold your love over my head Don't hold your love over my head Don't hold your love over my head. Ninety eight and six degrees of separation from you, baby- Don't hold your love. ~~always~-*tess* ;-D posted by Teresa at 5:52 PM w I <3 my mom's Joni CD. Sleep, too, but after all...no rest for the weary. The last time I saw Richard was Detroit in '68 And he told me all romantics meet the same fate someday- Cynical and drunk and boring someone in some dark cafe. "You laugh," he said, "you think you're immune- Go look at your eyes, they're full of moon. You like roses, and kisses, and pretty men to tell you All those pretty lies." Pretty lies When you gonna realize they're only pretty lies Only pretty lies, just pretty lies. He put a quarter in the Wurlitzer and he pushed Three buttons and the thing began to whirr. And a bar maid came by in fishnet stockings and a bow tie, And she said "Drink up now it's gettin' on time to close" "Richard, you haven't really changed", I said. "It's just that now you're romanticizing some pain that's in your head You got tombs in your eyes, but the songs you punched are dreaming. Listen, they sing of love so sweet, love so sweet. When you gonna get yourself back on your feet?" Oh and love can be so sweet Love so sweet Richard got married to a figure skater And he bought her a dishwasher and a coffee percolator And he drinks at home now, most nights with the TV on. And all the house lights left up bright I'm gonna blow this damn candle out I don't want nobody comin' over to my table I got nothing to talk to anybody about. All good dreamers pass this way some day- Hidin' behind bottles in dark cafes, dark cafes Only a dark cocoon before I get my gorgeous wings and fly away. Only a phase These dark cafe days. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 12:14 AM wSunday, October 12, 2003 Now, breakfast. Next, humanities. Then, more humanities. Meggo and I are having way too much fun with this sex stuff. woooooooohoooo. You know that overall soreness you get when you're sick and tired and probably have a fever and haven't slept in your own bed for like 72 hours and just want to go home and curl up and feel better? mm, yeah. See you guys around 5/6ish. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 10:50 AM wSaturday, October 11, 2003 This song is beauty and if I wasn't so tired I would marry it. Slow dancing on the boulevard In the quiet moments while the city’s still dark Sleepwalking through the summer rain and the tired spaces You could hear her name when she was warm and tender And you held her arms around you There was nothing but her love and affection She was crazy for you Now she's part of something that you lost And for all you know This could be The difference between what you need And what you wanna be Yeah, what you wanna be Night swimming in her diamond dress Making small circles move across the surface Stand watching from the steady shore Feeling wide open and waiting for Something warm and tender Now she's moving further from you There was nothing that could make it easy on you Every step you take reminds you That she's walking wrong Yeah, for all you know This could be The difference between what you need And what you want Every word you never said Echoes down your empty hallway And everything that was your world Just came down Day breaking on the boulevard Feel the sun warming up your second hand heart Light swimming right across your face And you think maybe someday, yeah Maybe someday For all you know Yeah, this could be The difference between what you need And what you want Yeah, for all you know For all you know Yeah, for all that you know This is what you wanna be Girl, what you wanna be. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 11:00 PM w What if every mile of highway looks the same? What if the miles never change? - are the thoughts running through my head at 8:30 tonight staring out the window of the bus at lights that I don't know. And around me are these people that I love or admire or sometimes don't know and they're all alive, so alive and invigorated, and it's Maroon 5 singing and hearts breaking in my ear, like when you turn up the volume so it drowns you in emotion, so it drowns the laughter chatter around you, so it drowns the wind that tugs at your hair, and it's cold to remind you it's October and you're wrapped in a sweatshirt that smells of times you have loved. I get the feeling that I get when I'm in awe of the way music takes you back, not to a time, but to an era of who you were and who you have been. These chords are so deep I think that I could die happy, and not wonder, and be unselfish. And the tightness of my throat is a combination of the sentiment of the evening, and the wind- the way it chokes, and the hoarseness from screaming FAT RUSSIAN and WAY TO GO YALL at the top of my lungs in an auditorium that reeks of conservative Christians. Sometimes I wonder why it is only in a moment that we capture these possiblities, like the opportunity to never have to fake it again. A lot of life is mystery but I've been up since quarter of five this morning and I'm too tired to figure it out. I talked to people about music, the experience and not the noun. This one moment that I stole from this one night, and it is pure exhilaration. And all I want to do is grab the feeling and run with it and take off and never have to give it away to someone else and the way they'll make and break my heart and days. And this is what I want in life, is pure exhilaration, is to find a place where I can wake up every day and know that I am alive, I can hold the person I love and still love myself, and I can let the little things make my day, I am invigorated, I am exhilarated, this is all I want. Sometimes that's what I think but then I don't remember if it's worth giving credit to or not, because, after all, I've been up for 16 hours now and in the past three nights I've gotten 10 hours of sleep combined. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 10:53 PM