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Today this girl is
and/but
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wFriday, May 30, 2003 |
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...Things change, and so have I...
Good day.
Math- exam review, 83 on the test. ugh but i did my best so what're ya gonna do.
English- sat jeopardy, reflections thingy. wow i could write an epic on that one.
Spanish- finishing papers, coloring lol, speeches. a nice talk with jenny.
lunch- money from az. fun convos. good times.
Debate- mock trial. bleh. boring.
After school- sleep. 3 hours. then off to movies. fun stuff, Down With Love. A classic chick flick. Loved it of course. Seriously, one of my new favorite movies. Then Ben and Jerry's. Thank you, God, for strawberry kiwi smoothies.
It still hasn't quite sunk in that there are only two more days of regular class left. Wow.
I know I need summer, change of scenery and a break from it all, and finally some time to myself...but that doesn't make it happy to know that everything is going to change and that freshman year is over. erm...yeah.
Gabby's spending the night at a friend's house so I get the room to myself but I'm so exhausted I think I'm just gonna go to sleep.
Tomorrow is Saturday and promises to be a fun one at that.
For some reason, I am having trouble sleeping lately.
That's not like me. :-\
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 11:45 PM
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wThursday, May 29, 2003 |
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Anyone could see the road that they walk on is paved in gold
And it's always summer, they'll never get cold
They'll never get hungry,
They'll never get old and gray.
You can see their shadows are wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home but they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happier there today, today...
~From Tree To Cup: The Quest For The World's Greatest Coffee~
Today's been a great day, especially considering the recent influx of submediocre Thursdays. I believe they have returned to their status as my favorite day of the week...speaking of which, it was the last Thursday of freshman year. Ackness. Um...drama was no work whatsoever; ff was kinda fun- poetry and jeopardy and whatnot-; lunch was test corrections, yearbooks, etc; bio was a blast. dd and i sat together for like the first 20 minutes of class and horowitz finally noticed when we were just cracking up like crazy and then yelled at us ("It's...personal, I'm sure you know how that is...") and it was hilarious. Then she flipped out cause I was grading dd's bio packet and "best friends just don't grade each other's work". Yeah, cause we don't just all give each other 100s anyway.
(oops, was that my 'out-loud voice'?)...elp was really chill, just the assessments (hannah poppins lol) and more yearbook signings.
Siiiiigh.
In a week we'll be doing exams, and in two school will be out.
Why does that never cease to freak me out?
Anyway, after school, I went to DD's and we had fun just hanging out, talking, listening to music...then back home for a quick nap before caribou, then the 'study' session with job applications haha, then over to the warehouse for dinner leftovers, and back home. i'm gonna go to sleep i think, and then wake up around like 10 for like an hour. hmm.
Tomorrow's Friday, and should be a fun Friday at that.
And I've had a few more epiphanies and come to some lovely conclusions, so that's nice.
But I am very disappointed that I didn't get to fill out one of those surveys for Banerjee or Horowitz :-P.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 8:15 PM
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wWednesday, May 28, 2003 |
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See, who am I
To say this situation isn't great?
It is my time to make the most of it
Of course, I didn't know that it would happen to me.
Not that easy, no, no, no, no...
I have the weirdest, most disconcerting feeling ever inside right now, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why.
Ergh. And I definitely have to write this drama scene, and I definitely have no idea whatsoever what to write about.
And I definitely would like to share one of my own poems tomorrow in English, but I definitely don't think I have enough nerve.
Although I know I should take risks.
But then again, we never do what we know we should, huh?
{Just to be a bit metaphorically ambiguous...}
Now this angry little girl
Drownin in this petty world
And I'm who you run to
Swallow all your bitter pills
That's what makes you beautiful
You're all a lie
I won't leave what you ain't got
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 9:58 PM
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To Do:
- Chapter Assessments 2 and 3 (Bio)
- Drama scene (4-5 minutes/pages)
- Jeopardy cards
- Pick out "favorite" poem
- ELP stock project
- Start DD's end-of-year box
- Procrastinate as long as humanly possible.
...haven't felt this good in God knows how long...
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 7:40 PM
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wTuesday, May 27, 2003 |
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Today was pretty good, despite the fact that it began to find me in front of the computer typing up pointless bio vocab...I am actually getting scarily good at functioning on 4 and fewer hours of sleep. That's pretty freaky especially cause I used to be one of those nine-hours-or-no-consciousness-whatsoever-the-next-day types of people.
Um...in drama we are writing four or five minute scenes and I thought that I would have some ideas but I am still a bit writer's-blockish, I don't think playwrighting is gonna be my 'thing'. It just doesn't really appeal to me. But we'll see. FF was its usual self, oh crap I have to do my daytimer stuff for tomorrow. Erm...I got 100 on the eoc practice. That was kinda nice. Lunch was fine, pig drawings and whatnot lol; bio was a killer quiz that literally massacred the semi-decent grades of the entire class, and of course, she won't curve it...; elp...ergh. I have to say, I know that Fuller is a good teacher, and I know a lot of kids really like him but he irritates me. I just don't like his personality I guess. It annoys me. Plus, having him 8th period doesn't exactly put me in the best mood: I mean, by that late in a B-day, I'm ready to binge on some ice cream and talk on the phone all afternoon. So yeah.
Gotta finish up studying for math...gonna try to convince Mom to take me to starbucks tomorrow morning. The end of the school year is looming a bit ominously in the very near future. Hmmm...
sorry to post these again. they just make more sense every time.
...You've got to get yourself together
You got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it...
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 9:45 PM
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wMonday, May 26, 2003 |
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They say it perfectly.
I've been down this road
Walking the line
That's painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just can't hide
But I believe I am ready for what love has to bring
Got myself together, now I'm ready to sing
I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home...
There's a side of my life where I've been blind and so...
Baby I been holding back now my whole life
I've decided to move on now
Gonna leave all my worries behind
Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to give
Got myself together, now I'm ready to live-
I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 10:41 PM
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I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard...
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it...
And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it's tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now...
Alex is now officially one of my favorite people EVER, and yes, she gives fantastic advice.
Caribou this evening was a great pick-me-up...we really talked, and although we worked on math for about FIVE minutes max, it was a fantastic use of time ;-). Wow. Nothing like scoping out guys and pointing out cool cars and talking about everything there is to talk about over caramel coolers and math binders for a couple hours. :-D
Um...today was a parabola, about average at the beginning, then a biiiig dip, and then straight up all afternoon/evening. Once again, it all works out. Although, I must say, I cannot STAND B-days. They are soooo unfun. And there's a bio project, and elp worksheet, and various drama plans to be done....and I am feeling like bubble baths and Whitney Houston or Mariah, not pen ink all over my hands and fingers sore from typing. But ah well. Such is the life of the IB-er. Things are pretty normal in this little world of mine. Tomorrow the OM-ers are off. Don't know what I'm gonna do without some of you lol.
So I'm off to use the caffeine from that caramel cooler and hopefully be a little bit productive, get this bio project done and it'll be 'all good'.
I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep
I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass-
It's just a moment
This time will pass
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 8:47 PM
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So far the People of the Year are DAVID YAFFE and IAN SHARMA.
Mwahaha...hooray for yall lol.
Anyone else ;-)?
Back to math and then off to Caribou with Alex...
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 5:22 PM
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wSunday, May 25, 2003 |
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Dude that's such a freaking long entry
if you read it, tell me, so you can have the Person of the Year Award.
Anyone who slogs through all that deserves it.
posted by
Teresa at 8:23 PM
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This is going to be a very profound entry, because I am having some very profound thoughts.
Tomorrow begins the last week of regular school. Next week, two days of class and then three of exams. And then that last Monday of exams. And then, freshman year is over. Ninth grade is over. Over. I don't know, it's just like a slap in the face. A huge reality check. And very, very scary.
A year ago...seems like forever. And yet, like three months. A year ago, you could've found me spazzing about what to wear with DD. Okay, maybe not everything's changed ;-). But in all seriousness...a year ago, I was picking out my graduation dress...I hadn't been to Carowinds since 3rd grade...I had Mr. Eaddy as a teacher and Nancy wrote me a letter with advice on life. I would call Dasha before every B-day to go over math homework. I was helping Deeds through a difficult situation with a good guy friend. I had just gotten the Michelle Branch CD. I ate lunch with Mary and Geeta and Deeds, and I hated it when Ms. Barrett was absent because I had to go eat in split lunch, with Mrs. Boulter's class, and I didn't really know anyone. My favorite jeans were my Todd Oldham ones, and I was happy when I got the highest score on the reading EOG. Do you remember? We spent our days making fun of no-ankles Waggoner, and loved to hold Barrett's hamster. I had Social Studies with Christie and Dasha, and Mrs. Thaxton would call us Charlie's angels. Mr. Smith would let us stay in his classroom during cultural arts to grade contracts, if we begged. And we would make fun of him for listening to the "Smashing Pumpkinheads". We were still awed by September 11th, but even more awed by the concept of high school. We made casts and put them on popsicle sticks, and made strangely shaped bottle rockets, and met a woman from some modeling school, because the teachers didn't know what else to do with us after EOGs. We went to see Sum of All Fears and I wore my pink and black and red striped tank, and Laura said it was cute and she was going to steal it. We went iceskating, and she did. Amazing the things we remember.
Amazing the things we don't.
Because there's so many moments being lost in the shuffle, so many smiles we do forget, and there's too many tears we remember.
I used to think I was good with change, that I could handle it, that I could adapt, that I was ready, that I didn't get scared easily.
But as I've gotten older, I've gained a sense of nostalgia that is oftentimes overwhelming, when I allow it to be.
Another year of life, down the drain. And what do I have left?
I have DD. As I always will. I have Mom, Dad, Gabby, Chad. I have newfound friendships. I have newfound hatreds. I have a list of changes in my life that could stretch across the country. I have a list of changes in myself that could circle the globe. I have experiences that I'll never, ever forget- experiences that have humbled, experiences that have exhilarated, experiences that have hurt, experiences that have taught. I have discovered that I will never be content to let other people tell me how something feels or how something will end up, and that I am impulsive and make mistakes. I have discovered that as much as we'd love to pretend it so at times, we are not all the same, and a hundred million uniform jeans and tops would not make it so. I have discovered that sometimes it is important above all things to listen to the advice of your parents- sometimes it is important above all things to listen to the advice of your friends. But 99% of the time, it is important above all things to listen to yourself.
Everyday I wake up, I turn on the lamp in my room, I put in my contacts, I get dressed, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, put on my shoes, pack my walkman into my backpack, get in the car...everyday I go to school, sit in class, pretend to learn, pretend to listen, talk to my friends, eat lunch, mooch off the people who bring money...we have settled into routine, and it is comfortable. I do not always know what to expect, but I know each and every person in each and every class, and I know each teacher, and I know my way around, and I know how to time myself so that I do run into certain people, and do not run into others in my walks from class to class. I know what Mrs. Anliker's strange Anlikerisms mean, I know that Mr. Purvis is a very strange man, I know that I can count on a smile from Ms. Webb. I know that Mr. West will never give me a B, I know that Ms. Banerjee will always call on me when I'm not paying attention, but I also know she won't care if I write notes to DD right there on my desk.
I am scared. I am scared of changes, I am scared of the newness that will be sophomore year. I am scared of being a sophomore because it means that afterwards, I will be a junior, and after that, I will be a senior. After that, I do not know where I will be. I am scared that now that I have found myself, that I will lose myself all over again. I am scared because I can't ever go back. I am scared of the inevitable changes in my circles of friends, of the inevitable loss of many of those friendships. I am scared of having classes with people that make me uncomfortable, I am scared of not having any classes with someone like Josh, with whom I had six this year. I am scared of summer, of the emptiness of it and of JHU. I am scared of the end of summer, of the anxiety of the night before the first day of school, of the smell of new textbooks. I am scared of being alone. I am scared of insecurities, of instabilities, of uncertainties.
I am scared of IB. I am scared that it will beat my butt, that my parents will be disappointed if I drop out, that I won't drop out and I'll be disappointed in myself. I am scared of college. I am scared that I will not get into the kind of school my parents want me to get into. I am scared that I will. I am scared that I will never know what I want with myself, what I want from myself. I am scared that I will never have dreams that come true.
I know that I am worrying too much. But this is not a freak-out entry. This is a calm, how-I-feel entry. I do not want life to pass me by. And I do not want to lie on my deathbed and realize I never accomplished anything. There is so much that I want from life, and yet so little that I need...now I've worked myself in marvelous circles. Who will actually read this? Who cares?
I wish things were clear-cut. I wish I could count on myself to always understand, to always stay optimistic, to hold onto the things that count. What if right this instant, I am the happiest I will ever be for the rest of my life?
I worry that I myself am a facade, that none of this is real.
I worry because I know that each and every lesson I have learned this year will be promptly forgotten the instant that it could be of any use to me whatsoever.
I worry that I have settled into routine and that I will become content. I never ever want to be content.
I worry that I will never be a settled person and that I will never be happy. I want, more than anything, to be happy.
I worry that my life will always be a conundrum.
I still worry about what other people think.
And sometimes, I sit like this, with the music on loud in hopes that I will drown myself out, and I am terrified of the future, of the past, of the present. I am so terrified that I believe it would be easier to just go sit in my guestroom closet and hold a voiceless phone next to my ear and close my eyes until I feel safe. Until I have enough nerve to come back out.
But I would never have enough nerve.
And at other times, I wake up to another beautiful day, and the sun is shining and my beautiful little sister sleeps below me. And I revel in the perfection of my kitchen table, in the sweetness of the banana I eat each and every morning, in the loveliness of these simplicities. At other times, I sit on the phone with DD and I know that I am living it right. I take a walk to Strawberry Hill and get too scared to cross the street back home, so I call my Mom on the pay phone and ask her to come pick me up, and it is okay. I lose myself in a prayer and I really talk to God. I lose myself in a pint of icecream and forget my worries in chocolate syrup. I lose myself in a bubble bath and Norah Jones sings me to peace. I don't worry. I don't think. I don't have to, because I can believe in everything I know, and everything I don't, and all of these paradoxes can finally make sense.
Some days, everything just clicks.
And some days, nothing does.
I have met so many people, been through so many experiences, laughed and loved and smiled. I have been to football games and held cups of hot chocolate and melted in the perfection of the right now. I have held onto the things I know are most important, and lost the things I know now were right to lose. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and yet if we did not persist in our questioning, the balance of it all would be upset. I will not forget this year. But I will not lose myself in reminiscing.
Next year I will turn more pages in this story I may write. I will paint more swirls into this blank canvas. I will not hesitate to make the same mistakes I've made so many times before, nor will I hesitate to try something new. I will worry and I will be afraid but I will never let these things hold me back. I have stayed up half the night for no reason, and I have laughed and smiled and cried, I have overindulged and hesitated an instant too long, I have been a fool and I have patronized, I have been angry and I have been hurt, I have been humbled and I have been proud. I have been taught and I have been stupider the next time, I have been lonely while alone and lonely in huge groups. I have been happy. I have been sad. I have lived.
And as this year ends, I will both remember and move on, I will laugh through tears, I will listen to the rain and revel in the sunshine, I will recognize that rarely does anyone actually read a blog entry this long...
And I will live, of course, I will live.
The magnanimity of it is...amazing.
And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
I saw the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Tossed along the way
Letters that you never meant to send
Lost or thrown away
And now we're grown up orphans
That never knew their names
Don't belong to no one
That's a shame
You could hide beside me
Maybe for awhile
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em' your name.
Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
Don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are
You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em' your name
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 8:21 PM
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My fantastically wonderful best friend has a blog.
www.here2stay.blogspot.com
If you don't visit, you are a traitor :-(.
Dude I'm in such a great mood!
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 5:07 PM
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Hey, hey
Have you ever danced in the rain,
Or thanked the sun
Just for shining, just for shining?
Or the sea?
Oh, no,
Take it all in the world to show you that
You look much better, look much better,
When you glow.
Yeah, I hope you've heard every word I've said
Yeah, you've had enough of all your trying
Just give up the state of mind you're in.
If you wanna be somebody else
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you wanna be somebody else
Change your mind, change your mind.
Yesterday was a great day, followed up by a great evening. Good people, good times. DD and I took a really fun walk down to PDS before we went to see the movie. Bruce Almighty, i like it a lot. we had a quick adventure over to target to buy cheap candy before the movie and then we had to stuff it all into ian's pockets and claire/dd's purses and it was hilarious. quite an adventure :-). the movie was really light-hearted and lotsa fun. then we (me claire dd) went over to ians house which is seriously awesome. dude i would give a whole bunch to live in that house. wow. so neways we came home and i only missed curfew by 5 mins so its all good :-D. Mmm this morning we had church, the homily was really good. Then me and mom had a really really long talk over bagels and it was really good, i remembered that she isn't always totally and entirely clueless when it comes to giving me advice/insight. she said one thing that really bothered me though, must talk to dd bout it. umm...then mom took me shopping, yayness, and i got these terrycloth shorts from old navy and i love love love them. also a top. yayness. Also I love Nancy tons. (thanks babe).
Hey, hey
Whaddya say
We both go and seize the day
Cause what's your hurry, what's your hurry anyway?
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 4:58 PM
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wSaturday, May 24, 2003 |
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So Thursday night after I got in bed it randomly occurred to me that I wanted to d/l that super old...'song' of sorts, the sunscreen speech. Another song that has been rediscovered, and it occurs to me that I wouldn't be surprised if every single word in here was the TRUTH.
**********************************
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice--- now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 2:12 PM
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Yesterday during the day was just a plain old roller coaster. Interesting and whatnot I'm sure, but as Spencer would say, too much drahmah. Mmm everything worked out in the end, as it always should, and, I do believe, always does. The signings in the ghetto fab yearbook are fantabulistic. Dude it's amazing the way oftentimes, what's written from your best friends in the world isn't what means the most...instead, it's the people who you talked to in one or two classes, but never really hung out with outside of school. Cause when they say something nice you can make believe they didn't feel like they had to. Ah before I get all nostalgic about the end of yet another school year...
Anyways after school claire and laur and deeds and i headed off to southpark. it was a blast. trying on random clothes we could never afford, scrounging for the last pennies to pay at the last store, an...interesting...run-in with josh's mom lol, meditating on 'to buy or not to buy'...-interesting? yes. awesome? also yes. dinner in the food court, my usual kids meal from showmars-yay-, boobage and gelato (sorry bout that claire), MANUAL SEX...then it was back home for music, talking, about half of 'first wives club', the usual 'card game', becoming naked toga women!, some...after-midnight escapades (how many laws can some ib girls break ;-) ? ), oodles of noodles, and at long last, sleep.
It was an awesome time with some awesome people. So cool beans for that.
Um...came home round 11, since then i've just been chilling, talking to deeds, working on her end of year present, showering, etc. The kitchen is calling...so I'll be off...and lots and lots of love.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 2:08 PM
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let's experiment real fast, shall we?
since its the middle of the night and whatnot
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 2:18 AM
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thankee claire ;-)
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 2:15 AM
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HOT PINK AND YOUR-MY-MOMMY'S PANTIES!
...in a world where what we want is only what we want until its ours...
just to post some random lyrics from train's calling all angels which is, btw, a great song, with oh so true lyrics.
um...in other news, I am happy because
a) fun people rock mwahahaha
b) sexy like hot pink and your-my-mommy's panties!
c) MANUAL SEXXXXX!
d) i'm a naked toga woman!
e) I didn't get raped yet mwahahaha.
Please exc-yooooose the random craziness. its claires fault too. you can post nasty comments on her blog now. mwahahaha. no comments for me. back to oodles of noodles and randomnesssss
talk to you tomorrow when i will hopefully have regained the little sanity i began with
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 2:11 AM
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wThursday, May 22, 2003 |
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...Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be...
-Note: I guess I'm just another byproduct of American society ;-) and such a sucker for them reality tv shows :-) , cuz i almost cried when ruben sang after winning-
Immediately after I posted, things started looking up. Amazing how a few good phone/net conversations can totally re-energize you! Headed out to Caribou for Fuller's study session after a huge fight with Mom (what else is new...)- some funny moments there, though. Hopefully I didn't do as badly on the test as I feel I did...
Finished up my math homework, now I'm gonna grab some dessert and GO to sleep. Seeing how tomorrow's plans unfold should be interesting...
...So impossible
As they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete...
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 9:48 PM
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Something is wrong in the world of Teresa when Wednesdays are gorgeously awesome and Thursdays are, on a scale of 1 to 10, a zero.
Today, the rain kicked the ass of my carpool girl's SUV. It also kicked the ass of DD's dog, Zoe, and the soccer fields where my brother and sister would've had tryouts.
Subsequently, the concept of playwrighting kicked our drama class's ass, a hugely long homeroom kicked the student body's ass, and Mrs. Anliker was in a bitchy mood so kicked a selective privileged group of her lovely students in the ass.
If it was possible, I'm sure lunch would've beat me to a pulp. However, thanks to the greatest friends ever, it could not join in the festivities. However, the ghetto fab frog lab definitely kicked my ass, followed by the bio test. The ELP test did not even have to try. By that point, it could've been about a quarter as hard as it was and it still would've kicked my ass.
I rode DD's bus home to find that Mom had gotten off of work early to pick me up on time. This would have been the second time this entire school year that I would have gotten picked up by Mom within 10 minutes of school ending. However, I did not. I went home with DD, and got picked up by Mom about 5 minutes after I got to her house, and am now at home.
My legs are sore, my feet are wet, my hair is soaked, and my mind body and soul are sore, sore, sore.
The perpetual core of an optimist in me has flown the coop. And I do not have an ounce of positivity or energy or brainpower left in my self to bring it back. I don't have enough energy to eat, to call someone to cheer me up, to do my math homework which will undoubtedly keep me up tonight, to change into dry clothing. I don't even know if I have enough energy to go to sleep, but that's the plan.
There are no lyrics, only this simple phrase:
Today, ladies and gentlemen, life kicked my ass.
And there ain't a thing I can do about it.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 3:23 PM
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wWednesday, May 21, 2003 |
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...I said, if you want to call me baby, just go ahead now
And if you'd like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now
And if you wanna buy me flowers, just go ahead now
And if you'd like to talk for hours, just go ahead now...
~"Wipe it on your pants and pretend it was never there!~
Today was a very...pleasant day. Just another day in the life, so to speak.
In math Alex and I were literally holding our eyes open, it was so boring and I was sooo sleepy. English was...sat grading, eoc review, etc etc, and of course our um..."discussion"? on Fromm in the "libary". mwahaha. spanish was a 95 on the test! :-D but an 83 on the quest... :-\... bleh. if i get a year b in there...and also i hate banerjee. soo soo much. cuz we had to sit in there and finish a speech for like 5 mins after the bell rang. ugh. mm lunch was so good today..."wipe it on your pants" ;-) and monkeys eating fleas and of course force fields... :-D. debate was some...interesting convos with west, spencer, ian, arun...its all good.
came home to veggie pizza and a quick plan-making convo with dd...then a not-long-enough nap and off to starbucks with deeds, yuuuum white chocolate macadamia nut cookies! and chocolate brownie frappucinos! and then "studying" lol...
now i'm back home for ACTUAL studying so as not to fail both elp and bio...and the final of american idol. i want ruben so we'll see. for a wednesday, today was unbelievably fantastic. i'm feeling sooo great right now. I honestly do not know what I'd do without DD. Sometimes she is the only person on earth who gets me and she always seems to know what to say to make it better without lying to me. Ah there's nothing nothing nothing like a friend like that. Yay.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 9:32 PM
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wTuesday, May 20, 2003 |
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Last night, as I was falling asleep, it randomly came to me that
Never in my life have I found so little to hold onto, and, yet, so much to believe in.
...hm.
The truth of it all is what leaves me in awe at the end.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 8:25 PM
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Today was an okay day. Best summed up by ":-\". But I'm home sweet home now, and there's no need to dwell...lets just say the drama test was a big old BLEH, ff was just sort of BLAH, lunch was ERGH, bio was ICK, and elp was Ahhhh...(accompanied by so-so gesture with hand)...bio eoc tutoring was ZZZZZ. wow, lets be random and bizarre, shall we? :-)
Came home for my walk, now it's survey time, followed by lean pockets, spanish and math, bio and elp studying...thursday is a bio test in 6th and an elp in 8th. im very very screwed. :-P
A moment when you
- felt homesick: at TIP, for just one night. Let's just say I had some...drama? (some of you know...) with my bf at the time and ended up sitting on my bed with my teddy bear totally confused, with my roommate and some of our other friends all trying to console me, and all I could think was that I wanted more than ANYTHING to be at HOME, in my OWN bed, talking to mom or on the phone with dd.
- was set-up (for a joke, etc.): mm happens to me a lot...nothing comes to mind though.
- faked something: At the TC retreat, there was a saturday night dance and taylor and i didn't wanna go so we faked sick. well, she faked cramps, and i faked stomach flu. they didnt buy it so we had to go anyway...and then snuck out about five minutes after we got there...but that's another story, which i believe is archived away anyway.
- cried, just for effect: around September, I desperately wanted to go out one weekend. and my mom randomly said i couldn't. and so i cried, just for effect. did it work? of course not. but it was still sort of fun. only not. ah well.
- felt truly happy for someone else: mmm the most recent time was prolly when erin and dylan hooked up. the most memorable time was probably...i dont know. something with gabby or dd, id imagine.
- were surprised by how something worked out: in 6th grade, i didn't study at all for this test in tech, cuz i didn't know we had it. that really was like my first time ever NOT studying for something. and then i got 100. and i was sooo happy. so pathetic, yes, but memorable, also yeah. lol.
- gave up and regret giving up now: Oh goodness. I was one of those kids who was in about 100 activities around 8 or 9, and bit by bit i've dropped out of like 96 of them. But probably the one i regret most is dance. i was in like ballet and jazz and stuff and then i just dropped it all in like...4th grade. and i think i really did like it. but regrets are worthless/ they misconstrue the past in sight and sound...
- had an epiphany: Oh, wow. I have epiphanies every day. Like really and truly, probably because I never ever stop thinking and analyzing and analyzing and analyzing and...overanalyzing lol...so literally every day, I have at least one epiphany. But the biggest, most recent one was probably a few weeks ago in ELP, when it was like EVERYTHING just clicked and i scribbled something down in my notebook...and all I could think was WOW. How did it take me so damn long to figure that out?...yeah. some of you know EXACTLY what i'm talking about.
- thought you were in big trouble, but really weren't: hm. id probably say it was when my mom started talking about how bad it was to ride with drivers under 20 or something like that, and it was the sunday after the south meck tourney when some of us went riding around with some junior to get chicfila. so i thought shed somehow figured it out and i was freaking.
- got upset over something tiny: The Thursday night before the IP rough was due. About 10 million tiny things just got me sooo incredibly upset and I ended up writing this impossibly schizophrenic journal entry to myself. Probably partly just because I was so stressed, I went into the hallway around 11 and both my parents were in bed and hadn't told me. And I really needed to talk to one of them, and I really wanted a snack but it scares me to go downstairs by myself. and so on, so forth, etc...so yeah.
- felt insignificant: Probably the monday after christie's party, when i didn't spend the night cuz of confirmation, but everyone else did. there were all these jokes from the night and it was like i didn't exist. but it had all blown over in a couple of days, and it is only natural, cuz thats the way sleepovers usually are.
- felt in control, yet at ease: Right now. I just feel so stable in my life and so very in control...like I don't know what's happening and I can't predict the future but it's totally fine.
- learned something new that you do everyday now: lol. When I was in 6th grade, I used to not be able to put my hair up by myself and my mom would do it for me. but, of course, now i can. lol.
- did a random act of kindness: Laur was having a bad day a little while ago, and I did her english for her. so yeah.
- had your greatest accomplishment ever: I don't think I've lived enough life to have a greatest accomplishment ever. And although there is one thing that stands out in my head as what it WOULD be, it's personal. So if you'd like you can ask...but I'd rather not post. :-D
- listened to or heard something that you shouldn't have heard: Ohhhhness. Sometimes DD will tell me stuff that other people have said and I'll know that I shouldn't have just heard that...also, a while ago, at someone's house, they left the room and i was reading through some documents on their computer and saw an im convo theyd saved that I definitely SHOULDN'T'VE read. But I did. and maybe it was for the better.
- couldn't stop yourself from doing something stupid: I don't think that's ever happened to me. I mean, I don't do stuff that I know is stupid. Sometimes I look back and say "That was a mistake", but 99.9999% of the time it was still the right thing to do AT the time that I did it. And I believe in fate or God or however you'd like to look at it, SO much. So even if something was a huge regrettable stupid mistake, I really think it'll all appear to've been for the best in the end. Even if it just helps you learn, or grow, or gain superpowers and turn back time. mwahaha. :-)
- felt like you had ESP: Often. But never with anything big.
- was most hurt by someone who had no idea that they were hurting you: Yesterday. I won't elaborate...but sometimes friends really try to listen to you and respond to you and they only make you end up feeling about a billion times worse. So, yeah.
- was sure you wouldn't make it, but obviously did: 6th grade. But ya know what? Since then, I've never even come close to thinking that. Because I'd like to comment in a rather pointed manner that EVERYBODY can sink into hell if they focus on all their problems and everything that is wrong in their lives. But the only way you're gonna be halfway strong is if you make yourself. And NOTHING can ever push you down further then you let yourself fall. That's always the truth.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 5:41 PM
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wMonday, May 19, 2003 |
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Vanilla ice cream- check.
Vanilla pudding- check.
Chocolate frosting- check.
But...could someone please pass the ice cream cake?
...;-)
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 10:15 PM
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...just another survey...
color of your front door? red
have you ever eaten soup with your fingers? nope. but i like to dip crackers and bread in it or sometimes cheese nips...yeah...anyway...
what do hippos make you think of? mm ya know that kids game, with the catchy little commercial "hungry hungry hi-PPOS! hungry hungry hi-PPOS!"? ...yeah.
giraffes? necks.
oatmeal? warm and yuummy
eagles? bald.
St. Bernards? big and fluffy!
sunflowers? ...gorgeous. A yellow flower collage to complement the blues and pinks?
butterflies? josh :-)
ovens? ...make it hot hot hot!
tortilla chips? salsaritas on wednesday nights :-) yum.
say something about ice cream. omg chocolate chip cookie dough! yay! fattening but ohhh-sooo-goood.
Do you have a picture of the person who sent this to you? its claire, and nope, but theres tons of kodak moments still to be made, lol. :-)
Do you write dates with dashes(-) or slashes(/)? ...periods.
favorite letter? dont really have one. T, maybe? or...E? H?
favorite number? 7, 14, 21.
what color socks you're wearing right now? my ladybug socks! :-)
what song is stuck in your head at the moment? "someday we'll know", new radicals...great song, btw.
what was the last song you sang? "sunrays and saturdays", vertical horizon.
what song are you listening to right now? "in this life", chantal kreviazuk. amazing song. ohh yeah.
do you like to write all over your hands? not really, but for some reason I do anyway.
how many days do you wear a pair of jeans before you wash them? depends on a) the jeans, b) how dirty they get, and c) where i wear them. but usually, once.
do your toenails need to be cut? bleh too lazy to take off my socks and see.
are your fingernails painted? nope.
what did you dress up as last Halloween? superman's girlfriend ;-) deeds and laur...aka, random teenage girl with jeans and a cape who desperately wants some candy :-D
what was the last website that you went to? blogger, also the ever open window that is musicsonglyrics.com, big surprise, i know :-)
have you ever kissed a frog? no, but i would ;-)
do you own a dry erase board? yep.
what's written on it? it's a calendar down in the kitchen where mom writes down all our random activities. bleh.
favorite accent? mm i loved my abita's accent. so just about any spanish accent works for me lol.
hugged a famous person? katherine patterson? the childrens author? she was at my abitas funeral...erm....shes not super famous but shes 'heard of' so...
what time do you set your alarm clock for? i dont. my mom wakes me up. alarms never ever wake me up.
who was the last person you wrote a letter to? dd, i believe.
who did you eat lunch with today? ooh it was a great lunch day. laur, claire, spencer, josh, leah for a bit lol, elbie, christine, other random people who aren't really coming to mind...
what did you talk about? mm...diets/weight, and then claire and i had a lovely conversation about...desserts ;-)
how many trophies do you have? who knows...random soccer/softball/basketball ones, as well as a camper of the week one from right before i moved from miami, and some sci oly medals that i like much better than the trophies...
what do you do when no one sends you any email? send myself email? what kind of question is that?
do you like to throw things at people? only my lovely little brother, when he deserves it :-). mwahaha.
do you talk to yourself? haha not usually. but i wrote this diary entry once that was seriously schizophrenic... :-) fun stuff, huh?
do you like to think of ways to commit crimes w/o being caught? no, but maybe i should try it!
do you have address labels? no but my grandpa has an address stamp and its reallly fun.
do you like crossword puzzles? nah, thats gabby and grandmas territory. im more of a word search gal, myself.
have you ever dissected an animal? bleh. not yet. :-\
what color is your bike? purple
do you own a go-cart? nope
what's on your window sill? random figurines and books and makeup and whatnot...i have a huge bedroom windowsill.
favorite pair of pants? nothing like some worn in mudds to make ya feel greaaat.
color of your pajamas? mm my favorites? my pink old navy pants and this pink and beige tank. yayness.
do you yell in other languages? haha when my mom yells cuss words in spanish, i go around repeating them loudly just to irritate her and she cant tell me not to cuz thatd be hypocritical.
what brand of watch do you have? fossil. dude i love my watch.
are snails cute? bleh. i guess im just not a bug girl :-)
what do you like to do with slugs? keep them away from me?
have you ever eaten 5 bananas in a row? bleh nope.
do you count sentences on pages of books? no ma'am.
like to sing opera? if i could carry a tune, id totally try it.
something about Cinderella. she stole prince charming. siiiigh. :-)
wear make-up? not really. once in a while but...
do you think green and pink look good together? always. yes. especially in nature, or in two-tone poems mwahaha, or in pink flower collages on THE WALL.
are you color blind? nope. biology, remember? only guys can be color blind... :-p
ever worn shoes that didn't go together? not that i remember...
what do you collect? stuffed pigs, pictures of flowers, notecards/notebooks/pens...i spose...?
ever stood on top of your kitchen table? yep, our guestroom used to have this huge leak and it soaked into the upstairs carpet and down into the kitchen ceiling so i had to stand on the table and hold a bucket for the water to not splash all over the downstairs too so...yeah.
do you ever read forwards? definitely depends on my mood :-)
do you think they're stupid? only the totally cliche 'you'll die if you dont 4wd this' ones. some really do tell the truth, yo. :-)
what about this one? erm i stole it off claire's blog so...n/a?
what is something you've been wondering for a long time? really there isn't anything. other than the constant, since forever ponderances which never actually leave.
something else? how come guys don't have to shave their legs?...well, excepting spencer mwahaha... :-)
If your friends had to pick three adjectives to describe you, what would they most likely be? why don't you ask yourself, silly :-) ... i spose something to the effect of outgoing is the obvious but other than that i dont know...
do you like to set things on fire? erm sometimes :-)... mwahaha.
do you often daydream? not so much a daydreamer as a thinker, a contemplater. but yeah.
favorite kind of donut? any kind! if they came out with a no-fat, no-calories kind...i'd like that a WHOLE bunch... :-)
have you ever been hypnotized? nope, some of the guys at davidson 1 2002 from the psych class tried but it didn't work lol.
say something about clocks: mine are NEVER set to the right times lol :-)
if all your clothes were one color, what would it be? mmm blue. for the sake of jeans, which i truly could NOT ever live without.
how many stairs are in your house? i'm not counting :-P
what's the largest number of pieces of pizza that you've eaten? 4 id guess.
when you listen to music, does the whole house/car vibrate? not usually.
when do you want to marry? when I'm in love, and when it feels right.
who do you want to marry? someone I love. A whole, whole, whole lot.
Say something about fortune cookies. they rarely are unvague enough to tell you anything at ALL.
If a kangaroo were in your kitchen, what would you do? ...call animal control?
what is one thing that really annoys you? when my family harasses me and goes through my stuff and nags and doesn't leave me alonnnne. :-)
something you did yesterday? listened to music. of course.
do you own a purple stuffed animal? yep. a platypus. hooray.
what about pink? yep. stuffed pigs :-).
favorite font?: tahoma and lucida.
color to type in? pink/maroonish.
limos? like our little k4 thing!
Top ten favorite bands/singers? mm...here are SOME of my faves in no particular order: Jewel, Chantal Kreviazuk, Norah Jones, John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Michelle Branch, Shakira, Avril Lavigne, Third Eye Blind, Alanis Morissette.
ten places you'd love to visit?
some tropical island, colombia, chile, miami! lol, nyc again, id LOVE to be at the cape right now..., california!, paris, london, and...heaven. yeahhh.
ten phrases/words you love to use?
"erm", "mwahaha", "scooore!", "bleh", "blah", "mmm", "yum/yummy", "ergh", "ack", and of course "yay/yayness".
ten favorite foods? chocolate chip cookie dough bites, chocolate chip cookie dough icecream, chocolate chip cookies!, any cheese at all!, tuna noodle, arroz con pollo, spaghetti yum yum, lemonade, brownies, and white grape juice.
ten things you hate? white lies- the entire concept-, math, biology, veggies, being ignored, the way younger siblings never listen, the way parents never understand, piano lesson, superiority complexes, the fact that everyone is a hypocrite in one way or another.
ten things you've thought about today? my friends and how lucky i am to have them, how wonderful bubble baths are, the greatness of norah jones, long walks, things i've learned from life so far, american idol and how kimberly locke should have won anyway, cheesecake factory lol, expanding boundaries vs. retreats to the familiar, blue gray weather, and the end of freshman year.
wow congrats if you actually got this far! :-D
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 8:35 PM
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...nightingale
sing us a song
of a love that once belonged
nightingale
tell me your tale-
was your journey far too long?
does it seem like i'm looking for an answer
to a question i can't ask?
i don't know which way the feather falls
or if i should blow it to the left...
all the voices that are spinning around me
trying to tell me what to say-
nightingale
tell us your tale...
If you have so much as taken one glance out at the world today, you know that today is a blue gray day.
There's simply no other way to describe it.
Today is a day for the comfortable familiar.
Today is a day for long bubble baths and Norah Jones and fuzzy pink bath towels and fuzzier pink slippers.
Today is a day for fleece pants and warm crackers and cheese.
Today is a day for contemplation but no frustration, for taking your time, for a little mellow exploration.
For examining the crossroads but picking no precise direction.
For blatant honesty and cinnamon room spray.
For long conversations with plaid quilts and soft comforters.
Today is a day that cannot be avoided, a dreary day of nothing of importance, a day that no one loves but everyone accepts.
It's just another blue gray day.
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 6:14 PM
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wSunday, May 18, 2003 |
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Thank goodness, the two-tone is complete.
I don't think it's exactly what she wants...because it's not really formatted enough but...it's the best I have the energy to do.
In the same fashion as my lovely friend Claire, I would like to defend myself against a certain gutter-minded rich white boy individual who LOVES to use quotes out of context... and point out that "take it offffff" was not in reference to ANY article of clothing whatsoever.
Thank you :-).
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 9:31 PM
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...Come on, try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle...
Today has been a very DREARY sort of day. Actually, I don't know what I've done...it's like, I got home from church at 12, and since 5:30 I've been talking to people online/talking on the phone/doing math homework, but im afraid those other five and a half hours sort of...disappeared. Hmm...like the Lost Colony? Only, not. Um...everyone should download "One Headlight" by Wallflowers. I don't know how you could NOT love it. It's fantabulistic. Really and truly.
Also, I would like to defend my newfound love of country music. It's really not that bad. Just give it a chance. haha that sounds so bizarre. well...laura got me hooked on jo dee messina around september: lesson in leaving. And then when I went to SC a couple weeks ago I heard another jo dee messina song...and then the other day there was nothing on kiss or the link so i just randomly surfed through radio stations and 96.9 came on and...seriously, some of the songs are not half bad. Selective listening, y'all, selective listening. Ouch I just said yall while talking about country music. Ackness.
Haha okay...I have a ton of math homework left and anliker poetry - and ive had writers block since sunday- so...I definitely DON'T think I'm gonna get much sleep tonight. Bleh. Also, i have to do my comm serv booklet since I definitely forgot it Thurs and Fri. erghness...
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 8:14 PM
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"Honey, did you take your breast hormones yet?"
posted by
Teresa at 1:26 PM
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wSaturday, May 17, 2003 |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEPHY!
...Let me show you what I'm made of
Good intentions
Are not enough
To get me through today
And this life...
Today has been fantabulous, through and through.
Woke up around 8:45 and stayed in bed till 10...just listening to music and thinking and getting sort of freaked out by the fact that freshman year really is almost over. Think about where we were a year ago! My entire life, my entire view on life, my entire person was completely and fundamentally different. I hadn't met SO many people, I hadn't gone to duke east, I hadn't started high school, I hadn't even picked out my graduation dress...I was in a totally different place from where I am right now. And while in essence I'm about a billion times happier then I was (not that I was unhappy), it's still scary to think that it's been an entire YEAR since then. It feels like...a couple of months. Maybe.
Anyway I got up and ate a cream cheese sandwich and talked to random people online...Mom freaked about nothing in particular and decided I couldn't go to matrix which was a bummer. Blehhhh. So I called up DD while watching vh1's countdown and we decided to throw something together with the good old sci oly foursome. So we called up dash and christie and decided to go to dash's. Mmm I got in a fight with Mom, talked to nancy, cleaned my room, went to the mall (haha too much info, nance?), came home, got in another fight with mom, talked to dd, took a nice long bubble bath, and next thing I know we're off.
It was the best time I've had in a really, really, really long time. First thing was to hop into the jacuzzi which was beyond awesome, nothing like some loud music and a hoooot tub and a good long conversation. Then snacks and more talking, then dancing and random pictures and 'barbie and ken' and awwing at the harding yearbook...amazing how things feel JUST like they did a year ago when I'm with those girls. It was just such a complete and total blast. It's nice to just BE with the people you really care about, and to laugh, and to smile, and to know that you really are 'living it right'. I desperately want a white old navy tank top. Also Dash has these adorable shorts that I borrowed and am now in love with, so yeah.
Everything is okay and right and I get some great advice and support and encouragement and...there's nothing like having people you can really and truly count on. Always.
1) Old Navy.
2) South Park mall.
3) Nancy.
3b) Nancy and her advice-giving skills.
3c) Nancy and her love life drama.
3d) Nancy and her awesomeness.
4) Christie.
5) Dasha.
6) DD.
7) Jaccuzis.
8) Chocolate chip cookies.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
...let me show you what i'm made of...
posted by
Teresa at 11:37 PM
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...So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while...
Today and tonight...
drama was purple dresses and my lovely random color game so that was fun, ff was poetry bleh, lunch was lunch, bio was funny cuz we pretended hwitz was god and it was crazy cool although she chewed me out for no reason but what else is new, elp was kidney beans and lots of other good stuff.
stayed after and talked to deeds and soo jin, that was nice cuz soo and i dont really see each other much anymore.
came home, tried to figure out tonight, slept, figured out plans, and then got mom to take us.
the evening was pretty fun, the movie (x2) wasnt my usual 'thing' per se but then again im just an all around chick flicks kinda person. mmm it was cool...especially random trips to the lobby and whatnot. after the movie ended we all just sort of randomly walked around and randomly talked to random people and watched some strange red head rape the guys and it was funny. then my mom called me on ian's cell and yelled at me for no reason and said i was grounded. then dad picked me and dd up, then i went home and mom said i wasnt really grounded. blehhhh to her. but then i ate icecream and remembered that its the weekend!
so no worries.
Also im rather interested in the latest fad in my lovely mind, which is that im finding myself strangely apathetic. this is bizarre because apathetic is almost like laidback which i never ever am. so its odd to find myself in this frame of mind. sort of a nice change, but also rather unsatisfying. ah well. itll all wear off and ill be back to normalness in a matter of time.
i'm so sleeeeeepy but its okay because its the freaking weekend baby and im gonna sleep nice n late.
1) Chocolate chip cookie dough bites (and not having to pay for them myself)!
2) Chocolate chip cookie dough icecream.
3) Random red-headed rapists!
3b) Random red-headed rapists who are interested in MEN!
4) John Mayer, Green Day, Alanis Morissette, and Queen.
5) Soo Jin.
6) Road Rules.
7) Dealing drugs in Anliker.
8) Smiles: those on others' faces, and those that others give me.
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 12:19 AM
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wThursday, May 15, 2003 |
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...It's just those rainy days
Spend a lifetime trying to wash away
Until the sun comes out and shines again
Smile for me, smile for me...
1) Thunderstorms, and lightning that lights up my whole room, and rain that crashes so hard on the roof that you don't HAVE to listen to yourself think.
2) Long phone conversations with DD.
3) Unexpected compliments that you may not deserve, but really do enjoy.
4) "Butterfly".
5) Norah Jones.
6) White grape juice.
7) Wet Seal.
8) Fridays.
9) Tanktops and pj shorts fresh out of the dryer.
10) Getting to SLEEP.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 9:59 PM
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I was just thinking about how Ms. Barrett used to call me her "mood ring" in Sci Oly last year.
And then I was thinking about how impossibly moody I really and truly can be.
I may very well be the queen of being affected (whether awesomely or horribly) way too much by the tiniest things in the world.
Ergh.
As in, five minutes ago, I felt totally and utterly awful.
And right now, I feel just fine.
Bleh. Too bizarre. 'Cause there's never any reason behind any of it.
Well, there is, but the reasons are never things that I want to be reasons, and they're never tangible things, or things I can depend on, and they're never, EVER things that I would expect to be reasons, or things that anyone ELSE would expect to be reasons, and...errrrrgh.
I am always trying to make these resolutions, these promises to myself, and do I EVER manage to keep them?
Nope.
But tomorrow's a new day, and tomorrow I'll just up and try again.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 6:22 PM
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...From the air things look so ridiculous
Our fears so small, our fights so vain
I want to pilot a plane with you
So all our problems look small too
It's just an inch from me to you
Depending on what map you use...
Sorry, I'm sure I've posted those before but there's nothing you can do when lyrics are so unbelievably amazing like that. Jewel. Ah.
I am in a listing mood...so I hope you're in a list-reading-kind-of-mood...
Bleh/Blah/Ergh/Ack to...
1) Allergies.
2) Library fines.
3) Being sleepy.
4) Massacring poems in Anliker.
5) EOC review.
6) Mi madre cuando ella no esta contenta.
7) Four class periods in a school day, all of which feel about four hours long.
8) Forgetting community service booklets.
9) Not being able to find Michelle at lunch.
Yayness/:-D/ :-)))))/ Scoooore! to...
1) Flower collages on THE WALL.
2) Figuring out where Dad hid the Oreos.
3) Muuuuuusic. Always.
4) Not getting in trouble for writing a nice long note to DD during spanish.
4b) Getting a note back.
5) The sun sort of halfway coming out from behind the clouds while I took my walk.
6) NOOOOOOOOO HOMEWORK!
7) Tomorrow is Friday.
8) Herbal Essences.
9) Home aloneness.
10) Friends who are tres cool, and save you from having to (figuratively) slap YOURSELF upside the head with a reality check and say "Teresa, you're in your FIRST YEAR of HIGH SCHOOL!"
11) Josh and Leah. They are lucky, and they know it, and they deserve it.
12) Finding a random $10 from like last summer in my jeans pocket.
I've Been Thinking That I'm Scared...
1) because what if life really is a parabola? That means the best is yet to come, but at a certain point we'll reach the vertex, and then things can only get worse. I would greatly appreciate it if life could be just a gorgeously slanted upwards line, 'cause I'd really like to believe that no matter where I stand, things can still get better. Even if it means they get worse first. There has to be...more. Somewhere. Always.
2) of exams. Because my parents will really and truly freak over year B's, and spanish/bio/MATH are having some issues.
3) of the end of this year. Because it's the first official, OFFICIAL sign that 1/4 of high school is really and truly over. And with college, these are supposed to be the best years of our lives (which sort of goes back to #1, but anyway...)...and not to say that I'm not loving it all, but we can't ever stop time, and next thing we know we'll be really and truly graduating and...ack. There's no way to slow it down and I can't help but be a little scared of whatever might come next.
I would like to comment that...
1) I am not sure what colors to use for Anliker's two-tone poems. Despite the fact that no one is just two colors anyway, I still have to figure out two. And...bleh. Because I don't like the way anliker reads poems anyway, and posts them outside the door, and bleh bleh bleh.
2) I wish I had the ability to be as bravely candid as some other people. Because everything would be so much easier if I didn't always feel like there's certain things I just can't say up here, regardless of whether they mean ANYTHING to anyone who reads this or not.
3) There is a HUGE difference between being positive and being fake happy/chipper. I don't pretend that everything is always perfect cause lord knows its not, but you're either positive or negative and...everyone can get entirely swallowed by the bad stuff in their lives if they let themselves. But you just can't let yourself. Hence, positivity. Chipperness is the most aggravating thing in the world cause we also all know that no one's life is really perfect and no one's happy alll the freaking time. Unless they're abnormal...which is rare...but i spose I'd say 'right on' to them too. The truth of it all is why be sad when you can at least give being happy a try? Eh you get my point, I believe.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 5:20 PM
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wWednesday, May 14, 2003 |
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...I don't know how I'll make it but I guess I'm gonna fake it till I'm somewhere...
~DIRTY SOCKS ;-)~
Well now, if you were not IN the myers park audi at 7 tonight, YOU MISSED OUT. Yes, ladies and gents, you missed out SO BAD that you should be crying right now. The improvalooza (woo hooo! fun word!) rocked my socks (dirty socks!). It was hilariously funny and oodles of fun, and everybody was faaantastic, AND I get drama extra credit so woo hooo. Good stuff. Charlie dropped paul (north) home and then dropped me, came home to find the internet was broken, but I banged the modem on the cpu and it fixed itself :-). Pent-up violence? ...perhaps...
Mmm...in other news, it was a pretty good day, especially for a wednesday. In drama I definitely wore a purple dress and I couldn't breathe and Mr. Purvis got pissed off at me because I asked to change but erm...its all good. FF was speeches and such...ooh also a funny moment when anliker actually had the presence of mind to NOTICE elbs and i were passing notes. hah. lunch was lunch (free cookies...or not...), bio was...bio (hwitz freaked AGAIN about nothing bleh bleh), and elp was elp. so it all works out.
Came home, practiced piano, talked to dd...went to piano, bleh, but i fooled mrs richie into thinking id actually practiced...salsaritas, and improoovalooooosa. yayness.
Just a "sweet but blah" sort of day.
Ah well, tomorrow's Thursday, and I loooove Thursdays.
Erm...American Idol: Goodbye, Kimberly. Sniff. She should have won. I mean, we all know Ruben will, but she should have.
Um...shower, phone with someone random, sleeeeeeeep.
~~~~~~~~~
ANNOUNCEMENT
a) The 'retreat to the familiar' theory has been utterly scrapped. Boundaries are being expanded. Roads are being paved, and chosen...Yes. It ain't half bad.
b) From now on, each lovely blog entry will contain things to be grateful for in pink somewhere randomly. It's good for you to list things you love.
c) I am sorry, Ian, and everyone else who share his opinion..."You haven't put anything fun on your blog lately". My deepest apologies. I'll try harder. Heh.
~~~~~~~~~
1) Buying an icecream sandwich, with a random dollar I found in pocket, from the gas station while Gabby was in piano class.
2) An awesome note from an awesome best friend.
3) Expanding boundaries.
4) Possible Friday night fun.
5) Purple dresses.
6) Fixing the internet.
7) Gum.
Thaaaank you :-)
~~always~-*tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 9:42 PM
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wTuesday, May 13, 2003 |
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You know how us Catholic girls can be
We make up for so much time a little too late
I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests
I'll see you next Sunday...
What I learned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven?
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 9:00 PM
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...I don't know where I'm going but I'm going and I'll know it when I get there...
erm...i posted an entire long entry, claire's survey and all, and then my computer randomly froze.
So yeah.
But that's okay, it don't phase me.
It's a beautiful day mmm hmmm.
Although, Anliker was in a bad mood today, and got pissed off at me for no good reason...I finished my math during the day, hooray in a sad ib-y type way, and the spanish test was pretty easy...lunch was fun. talked to claire and elbs and laur and joanne and whonot. as in, whatnot, only who. there's a nice random new word.
stayed after for math/bio tutoring, bleh bleh bleh, took my walk, now i'm home to listen to music and whatnot. erm...i'm going to stop sitting around and do a bio obj, and then dinner and american idol and...i'll prolly talk to dd on the phone. ooh and i have to do some crap for drama. also josh got a blog, www.akosherbaptism.blogspot.com. even if i knew how to make that into a link, i wouldn't. i'm not inspired enough :-).
tomorrow has a rather low score in the way of the day potential scale.
ew I hate wednesdays.
ah well.
paaaaasta!
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 6:54 PM
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wMonday, May 12, 2003 |
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Go make your next choice
be your best choice...
I would if I could
I'd do most anything spontaneously
You know I would, if I could.
I'll do anything spontaneously
If you could be nimble
You'd have it simple just like me
So go on and try it
Do not deny yourself your freedom...
--'ill do anything', jason mraz
a fannntastic song
A gorgeous day, inside and out.
Drama was focus circle, which made my day right there, and starting some technical theatre proj which isn't half bad; ff was speeches and whatnot, its all good; lunch was the wedding! Beautiful, my dears. Touching, indeed. Erm, in bio, horowitz revealed her latest plan: THE OBJECTIVE REVIEW PROJECT, which makes no sense because a) it's crap and way too easy to bs through, b) you can't review stuff you haven't learned, and c) we barely understand what we're sposed to do. So yeah. ELP was an 86 on the quizzy and a 91 on the test and notes to take...erm i have to pick my stock. so yeah. But like I said, for no apparent reason, I was in a great mood today.
I chilled with dd and claire after school, then went back to dd's for cheesy fries yuum and then home to take a two mile walk and lay out while I studied for spanish.
I'm gonna read the bet and do the questions and do at least one of my objs for bio and collage, and yay for productiveness! :-)
Michelle Branch's new song "Are You Happy Now?" is one kick ass song. D/l it. Nooow.
Yep, that's it, I think.
Ya know, I think the problem is not that I'm not motivated, it's just that once I sit my butt down in this here chair, it's impossible to get up.
Sigh.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 6:57 PM
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wSunday, May 11, 2003 |
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erm if you havent checked sangeeta's profile you should
but this is what it says:
TERESA IS ONE OF THE SWEETEST COOLEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET:-D....luv ya hun
I do not know how I deserve to know a friend who can just make your entire day feel so amazing.
Geeta, you do the tiniest random things that make people feel so good, and I love love love love you.
Wooo hoooo, the best part of loving friends so much is knowing we've still got THREE BEAUTIFUL YEARS ahead of us!
Thanks babe :-D
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 7:44 PM
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So maybe I'll just sit here and eat some jelly beans and brush my hair and listen to alanis and ignore my obligations and just blow it all off, or let it all roll off my back, and maybe I won't really think because maybe I don't have to.
So maybe I'll paint my toenails with another coat of my little sister's polish and dance around in my pajamas and avoid my responsibilities and cut out random pictures of blue flowers.
So maybe it's raining outside but I can still watch my brother and sister swimming in the backyard and laughing with my parents under the gloomy skies.
So maybe I've got no reasons, so maybe just for now I've got no point, so maybe...
So maybe you know what I mean, and maybe you don't...
And maybe, just for now, you don't have to.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 5:41 PM
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Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes
She says the rain's gonna wash away, I believe it...
She's got a little bit of something, but God, it's better than nothing
And in her color portrait world, she believes that she's got it all
She swears the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to...
She believes that life is made up of all that you're used to
And the clock on the wall has been stuck at 3 for days, and days
She thinks that happiness is the mat that sits on her doorway
But outside
It's stopped raining...
posted by
Teresa at 12:38 AM
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wSaturday, May 10, 2003 |
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...I'm gonna soak up the sun
Before it goes out on me...
Mmm everything's all good.
I sat out by the pool for a couple of hours and now im taaaan...or rather, tanner, which is nice. Im actually a little burned but hopefully itll mellow itself out and just be nice and dark. That makes me think of roasting marshmallows, and catching them on fire to melt the inside. Haha random. Um...I came inside and took a nice long shower and listened to some music and talked to elbie and errrrrrgh i want to go out tonight but i can't because i have to go babysitting. Oh well. I really am broke so I should just go and earn the money and get it over with and then I'll be happy and only owe my parents $20. Hoooooray.
posted by
Teresa at 6:08 PM
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Yep. Everything is great. Hooray.
Yesterday was the BEST day I've had in about forever, just at school I mean.
My mommy overslept, and so I overslept, and so we left my house at SEVEN and thennnn left the Cotswold Starbucks, chocolate brownie frappucino in hand, at 7:09. GUESS who made it to school on time?
Thaaaaaat's right, Teresa did. :-). AND then I got a 92 on my math test! AND then all the juniors were gone taking AP exams so we played gamboge pig which is this bizarre extra credit game AND Alex and I earned 7 points for our next test :-D. AND then we played 4 corners and it was mucho fun :-). and...ff went smoothly, I gave my speech in spanish and it was actually good!, and the defense kicked butt in mock trial in debate so way to go, us. and then we were off...
We (deeds laur and myself) got into her car and I just felt so happy, it was Friday and happiful and 'shower the people' was playing and ahh :-). Erm...we went home and made cookies and played random cds and talked to steph and made cupcakes/cake and just ran around getting stuff done and whatnot...and then steph and christie and soo and dash and jill came and we changed and...then everyone started getting there. It was just fun...rather interesting at points, but fun. yaaaaaay. Cool people, cool stuff, no drahmah. and we were on the radio and smart boy ripped his shirt and i looked for shapes in the nighttime clouds and i stuffed a whole cookie in my mouth all at once! and i actually met some people id only known through association and i got eaten alive by mosquitoes and i just had a lovely time. and josh and leah are possibly the cutest couple ive ever seen.
My calf is killing me from being run into during...basketball. haha.
I am so glad its the weekend. I need some time to just freaking chill more than anything. Ah finally.
Also I would like to mention that the flat refusal of some people to just respect some other people infuriates me. Sadly, you don't know who you are but...you should figure it out.
Um...I'm in an interesting mood. I don't know. I think I'm scared...I think too much.... I'm going to go to the pool, which is now OPEN so yay. I feel so happily secure. And stable. And we all know that's probably going to last about an hour...
Who needs shelter when the morning's coming?
Absolutely there's no one.
Who needs shelter from the sun?
No, not me
Not anyone-
I'd sleep it all away but the sun won't let me
I'd miss those lovely days of summer-
Good day, sunlight
I'd like to say how truly bright you are
You don't know me but I know you
You're my favorite star...
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 2:40 PM
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wThursday, May 08, 2003 |
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ermmmmm
why is my poor little blog messed up?
its obese!
:-(
go on a diet, little blog.
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 10:37 PM
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okay before i lose my cool entirely, my daddy was on tv tonight on channel 5 at 9:00, because he is the oh-so-special airline reporter for the observer and he was wonderful. hooray. yayy dad
IN OTHER NEWS
MY PARENTS HAVE AGREED TO
a) LET ME GO TO, and
b) BUY ME TICKETS FOR
THE JOHN MAYER CONCERT ON SEPTEMBER 2ND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES, I MAY VERY WELL FREAK OUT
John Mayer is the sex god of the world and to have him within a mile of my lovely self would absolutely be euphoric.
therefore, laur and i will be verry verrry busy on september 2nd, assuming all goes well.
this would be our conversation...
Miamigirl1288 [9:28 PM]: AHHHHHHHHHHHh
Miamigirl1288 [9:28 PM]: YAAAAAAAAY
Miamigirl1288 [9:28 PM]: THE SEX GOD
Dancnqueen454 [9:28 PM]: AAACK!!!!!!!!
Miamigirl1288 [9:28 PM]: WILL BE OUUUUUUURS
Miamigirl1288 [9:28 PM]: AAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dancnqueen454 [9:28 PM]: OMG!!!!
Miamigirl1288 [9:28 PM]: AH
Miamigirl1288 [9:28 PM]: AH
Miamigirl1288 [9:28 PM]: AH
Dancnqueen454 [9:28 PM]: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Miamigirl1288 [9:29 PM]: AH
Miamigirl1288 [9:29 PM]: assuming we can get tickets
Miamigirl1288 [9:29 PM]: WE WILL BE IN HEAAAAAAVEN
Miamigirl1288 [9:29 PM]: AHHH SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY
Miamigirl1288 [9:29 PM]: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Miamigirl1288 [9:29 PM]: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
Miamigirl1288 [9:29 PM]: I CANT WAIT
Dancnqueen454 [9:29 PM]: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Dancnqueen454 [9:29 PM]: THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
Miamigirl1288 [9:32 PM]: JOHN MAYER
Miamigirl1288 [9:32 PM]: TERESA
Miamigirl1288 [9:32 PM]: LAUREN
Miamigirl1288 [9:32 PM]: JOHN MAYER
Miamigirl1288 [9:32 PM]: AHHHHHHHHHH
Dancnqueen454 [9:32 PM]: AHAHAHAHAHA
ahhh i am so happppyyyyy the world is turning my way did i mention JOHN MAYER IS SOOO SEXY?
gigharbor1102 [9:24 PM]: Teresa, the girl with long black hair
All she wanted was a chance that was fair
To go to a concert from John Mayer
The girl with the long black hair
it's dark brown but who cares.
DID I MENTION JOHN MAYER IS AMAZINGLY SEXY?????
ahhhhhhhhhh.
ahhhhhhhhhh.
i dont even know what to say except for that if this doesnt all work out and we dont actually manage to get tickets i will be very disappointed and yes i will cry.
YAAAAAAAAAAAY.
~~always~-*TERESA*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 9:55 PM
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...Off the Florida Keys
There's a place called Kokomo
That's where we wanna go
To get away from it all
Bodies in the sand
Tropical drink melting in your hand
We'll be fallin in love
To the rhythm of a steel drum band...
--kokomo, beach boys--
Have I mentioned lately that I love Thursdays?
haha yaayyy.
Yeah, I definitely do.
erm....just a very cool, chill day. drama blah, ff speeches and whatnot, lunch...ah! soo jin and will are getting married, and i, for one, am greatly excited!...bio, hwitz was her usual bitch self yet it didnt really get to me...i am amazed by the fact that she does not seem to notice me and elbie and laur and dd passing notes from across the freaking room but i'm not complaining...and the elp test wasn't too bad. which was good seeing as i barely studied. woo hoo i think i got my graph right, too.
after school laur and dd and i walked down to the circle k just for the hell of it and proceeded to buy some yuuuummmy junk food...which, in hindsight, is very guiltifying, but who cares. it was oodles of fun. walked back and sat around in sc for a while until our parents came. and they went off to get their manicures without poor broke, grounded teresa. ah well.
'cause i came home and sat out by the pool and tanned and talked to steph and hooray! because my legs are slightly darker! and now i'm gonna take a nice long bath and...ive got spanish and sat cards but thats it. It has been a fantastically awesome day and Thursdays DEFINITELY rock my world and tomorrow we are going to have fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! --girls just wanna have fun lol, cindy lauper-- It's so good to feel so good. Ah does that make any sense at all?
Everybody knows
A little place like Kokomo
Now if you wanna go
And get away from it all
Go down to Kokomo...
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 5:38 PM
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wWednesday, May 07, 2003 |
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...It's not hard to understand
Just follow this simple plan ---
Follow your heart
Your intuition
It will lead you in the right direction.
Let go of your mind
Your intuition
It's easy to find,
Just follow your heart, baby...
--intuition, jewel--
So yeah, despite a little drama with Mom and Gabby, it's all good...today was great and tomorrow promises to follow suit. I definitely haven't done the bio, and I definitely need to do some elp studying, but once I get that out of the way it's sleeeeepy time for Teresa :-). I believe that my lovely conference call with Laur and Deeds just about made my day...and I am getting EXCITED for Friday! --all i wanna do, sheryl crow-- To borrow from Lila...we're gonna paaartaaay like it's 1999! :-D mmm and as laur said, tomorrow is partay warmup day!
---
in other news, my buddy list now has SIX categories, as follows: "Liberals :-)", "Conservatives :-(", "Nonpartisan Fools", "Nonpartisan Fools 2", "TIPsters", and "Other Liberals" (aka family).
woo hooooooo. If you think I may have some confusion as to where to file you, you're probably currently in nonpartisan fools 2 so...get yourself nicely fixed up :-).
---
erm, in other other news, breakfast at tiffanys is making a COMEBACK. for in my exciting online travels, ive discovered it on elbie's lj (coincidence? who knows? who cares?!) and hence...HOORAY. so, join the trend. Jump on the bandwagon...BREAKFAST AT TIFFANYS. DOWNLOAD IT TODAY! :-D
psh YEAH yall.
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 10:34 PM
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Ever feel like the entire world, or at any rate, your corner of it, is entirely and wholeheartedly against you?
I am doing the best I fucking can and I would give so much to let my parents see that, and see that I just want them to get off my goddamn back and...
Leave. Me. Alone.
posted by
Teresa at 8:00 PM
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--my friends over you, new found glory--
ummm how to sum up...?
lets just say that my printer definitely stopped working at 2-in-the-freaking-morning and i definitely got about an hour and a half of sleep and i literally rolled out of bed and into the car with barely enough time to staple my last roughs and grab a floppy and a sweatshirt.
Let's just say I definitely spent 15 minutes eating a chewy bar and printing my paper at dd's at 6:30 this morning...let's just say that was the point before the tiredness kicked in and we were literally delirious, laughing on the floor at absolutely nothing...
let's just say i may very well have failed the math test...let's just say i don't give!...erm...krispy kreme party=yummy, and 3/4 is officially republican city soooo...and anliker DEFINITELY only gave me a 93 because she's so very gorgeously partisan but ah well who gives...--dancing in the moonlight, toploader-- (you should download that)...i almost fell asleep in spanish...lunch, mock trial stuff...and yes, i definitely wore ian's shirt which was, shall we say, unique haha...
came home and of course slept (see previous entry...) and then woke up and dragged my half-dead little self to piano where i managed to get mrs richie incredibly sidetracked on the topic of research papers (always a good convo opener "hey! i got less than two hours of sleep last night!")...and now i'm going to go eat some veggie pizza, because the veggies mean you can pretend it's not fattening :-) and take another nap and then collage some perhaps or study for elp or just do something random...who knows.
~~~~~~
I have also concluded that what I really need is a change of scenery...which was sort of the purpose of deciding to redecorate THE WALL but...I don't know, spring break came too early for me this year. I'm definitely needing it right now. The things I would give for the sun to shine...the things I would give to be on a beach and oh sand and waves and palm trees and tanning and...yum yum yummy. --brown eyed girl, van morrison-- Also, I am desparately in need of some watermelons or something. I don't know. A summery fruit, is what I need.
ALSO today I heard Savage Garden's truly madly deeply on the radio THREE (count em three) times which is kind of weird since its really a pretty old song...and I was just thinking about how it came out a while after I moved to charlotte and it was my first "favorite song" that really wasn't dictated by my parents. yeah so anyway.
Life's lovely.
sleeeeeep.
oh and a laugh
CGmp913 [6:21 PM]: i maybe a republican, but im still a human
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 6:40 PM
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What time is it, darlings?
Thaaaaaat's right, it's half past IP and a quarter till piano...definitely time for me to get some sleep!
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 3:06 PM
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Ijockmo1 [11:40 PM]: im donewith work cited cept for one thing
Miamigirl1288 [11:41 PM]: good for you
Miamigirl1288 [11:41 PM]: i just have all my notecards, all my bib cards, the spanish essay, my persuasive, and at least an hour of studying for my math test
posted by
Teresa at 12:00 AM
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wTuesday, May 06, 2003 |
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Oh man.
I was just websurfing and listening to music and thinking and all of a sudden a huge wave of nostalgia just hit me upside the head.
All of a sudden, I think I would give just about anything to go back to Barringer for just a week or two, to go back to Mrs. Barker and Mr. Schriffen and Ms. Roberts, to go back to Ms. Kohl and Blackbeard and the Cherokee trip and Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Perry and the writing test, to go back to Mrs. Cato and Mrs. Mackrell and the Washington trip and even Miss B...
All of a sudden, I miss that feeling of being 5th graders, and knowing that the world is ahead of us but the 4th graders are behind us, and the exhilaration of running out onto the field with "Celebrate" playing over the intercom and the wind in our hair and the sun on our little faces...I miss the feeling of going to DC, and staying up till 11 with Amanda and Ashley and thinking we were reallyyyy rebels...I miss the feeling of D.A.R.E., and promising ourselves we'd never do drugs, and never let our friends do 'em either...I miss the feeling I had right before we had to walk across the stage for graduation, the awe we held for middle school...I miss Jump Rope For Heart...I miss Laura Morrison and Tori Andrews and The Laura Ingles War and...I hate it when everything's so normal and then all of a sudden, I'd give anything to get back those little things.
And we never will, will we?
I don't know.
...Memories.
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 8:39 PM
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SEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEN
PAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 7:36 PM
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A big old CONGRATS to Erin!
...way to go out and get 'em babe ;-)...
~~always~-*"Tessi"*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 7:12 PM
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I would like to comment on a...trend, of sorts, which is so unbelievably apparent to me that it is actually frightening.
For lack of better words, I'll call this the "retreat to the familiar".
Maybe it's just me, but in the past few weeks it seems as though almost everyone is returning, in at least one aspect of their lives, to...the way things were in their lives earlier this year, whether November, or February, or whatever... This does of course except people who have gone through monumental changes since then, but for almost everyone, I think it's the truth. I'd give examples but I don't want to offend anyone by making them into a little case study. As for myself, I'm noticing in about a hundred billion ways...mainly in just my attitude towards a lot of friends. But particularly in my taste in music. For the first time since February or so, I'm pulling out tatu and vanessa carlton and listening to 'em like there's no tomorrow.
And, what's the reason for this lovely 'retreat'? Well, as for myself, I woke up around...Thursday of last week and just realized that freshman year is really and truly almost over. Things are changing. And it's my personal opinion that this is our lovely little way of digging our feet into the sand and holding on to all the stuff we've been through this year for as long as we can.
Some of you may know exactly where this is coming from, and some of you may now find yourselves sitting here thinking "What the...?". Well...just a theory.
Time to wake myself up and get rid of all that dream fog and get to work!
posted by
Teresa at 6:53 PM
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...I'm a brand new sky to hang the stars upon tonight...
Today has been a great day. It's not even 3, and I am home. Need I say more? ahh the luxury. Also i decided to just have my mom sign for my community service hours and skip out on tc today. i just dont have the time, what with math and spanish and of course ip...ugh. im having my mom edit my lovely spanish essay just to save some time...hoorayyyyy for having that whole little colombian thing actually come in handy :-).
so today...drama, raisin in the sun stuff...one of the actors was the guy who does the voice for piglet and that just about made my day right there so... :-D...ff, graded sat and whatnot, then did speeches...praise God for small favors cause i barely got out of giving mine today. also anlikers incredibly biased class discussions absolutely kill me sometimes, i swear its like republican city in that class sometimes. anyway... lunch, did the bio hwk and just chilled...bio, its usual blah self, i did the elp hwk and passed notes of course...elp, nothing worth remembering.
so yeah and mom actually picked me up at like quarter of 3 and that was tres nice
in other news, my sister is finally coming to me about guys...apparently the kid who keeps calling us likes her and she doesn't like him back but everyone thinks she does and should go out with him. she probably will...haha middle school relationships. sometimes it amazes me that gabby and i are actually related, we're so unbelievably different.
in...other other news, breakfast at tiffanys has been stuck in my head ALL day for absolutely no reason, especially seeing as i havent heard it in about a year...yeah. weird, but its nice to remember what a good song that is.
and now im off to eat some pasta and take a nap for a couple of hours before i dive into the lovely hell of ip.
yaaaaaaay
~~always~-*Tess*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 3:25 PM
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wMonday, May 05, 2003 |
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I have said this before but I will most definitely say it again:
It absolutely amazes me the way the TINIEST little thing can shoot my entire mood, my entire self, so unbelievably far up...
You're angry and you're frustrated and then one person just turns around, and without having a clue, without having to know, they make your entire day fantastic.
It absolutely doesn't make any sense at all!
...not that I'm complaining...
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 8:26 PM
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Leave me to these
Angry uncertainties
Leave me to my
Unknown convictions
There's just one thing left to be proven
And I will-
I'm no princess...
posted by
Teresa at 5:36 PM
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uh huuuuuh.
posted by
Teresa at 4:18 PM
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And when you say...
It doesn't matter, well it does.
And all it takes...
Is a mistake to eat your words.
...just one more time, I think I'll drive on home tonight
----------
~The Least That You Could Not Do~
--hands, jewel--
Ack if it does not get sunny sometime soon I may very well explode.
Lesson for the day: Sometimes it is better to believe a lie then to question the truth.
If you think you know what I'm talking about, you don't, but it's okay.
Moving on...
****COMING SOON****
Thanks to the marvelous generosity :-) of Claire, Teresa will soon be adapting the lovely idea of two imood indicators. Hooooray.
Also...today was really a pretty awesome day.
Excepting the fact that I have an 89 midterm in math and an 88 in spanish, and I really do not feel like the incredible lecture that is bound to be coming.
Yes, ladies and gents, my grades are goin doooown the drain.
Anyway math was an easy class, test review and whatnot; english, 84 on the r&j (ack), sat and speeches...does anyone else find it, shall we say...interesting that Anliker only asked for some opposition on the LIBERAL speech? hmmm...; spanish, quest which i definitely didnt do too great on, and of course cinco de mayo...loading my plate with tons of food, which i ended up eating about half of...; and then lunch.
Ah lunch. Well let's just say, if you were there, I hope you enjoyed the show. And if you weren't...you missed a great deal of laughter at my lovely expense. But it's all good...after all, what's high school without a few almost-trips into the guys bathroom?!
Debate was easy, did cross-ex with arun as my 'voice', ah yes...selective laryngitis, is what we will call this disease...uhm not much else to say except for that i'm really worn out, and i have to ip like crazy if i ever want to finish. ackness.
mmm... im gonna go take a nice long shower and maybe a nap before i start my homework.
fun stuff.
~~always~-*teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 3:05 PM
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wSunday, May 04, 2003 |
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I would just like to say that this is one of the most wonderful, as well as useful, pieces of eclectic wisdom I have ever heard in my short life.
Don't be afraid to change. You can have a fresh start any day you choose...and don't miss out on cheesecake!
~Dominique Swain
It'll be a nice, chill week, excluding the incredible stress of a math test and the lovely ip.
But there's Friday to look forward to.
Just five more days...
~~always~-*Teresa*
;-D
posted by
Teresa at 10:07 PM
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