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wMonday, June 30, 2003 Suppose I said I am on my best behavior And there are times I lose my worried mind... Would you want me when I'm not myself? Wait it out while I am someone else Suppose I say Colors change for no good reason And words will go From poetry to prose Would you want me when I'm not myself? Wait it out while I am someone else And I In time Will come around I always do...for you... Suppose I say You're my saving grace Would you want me when I'm not myself? Wait it out while I am someone else- posted by Teresa at 10:27 PM w I said, I wanna sleep outside underneath the half full moon... Fold me up, fold me up Take me out, take me out Oh, you know I'm portable... Today was waking up at 10:30 for Deeds to come over at 11, packing packing packing packing packing, saying some goodbyes, lounging around the house, walking to pds, picking out my paint colors, eating my veggie pizza, and packing some more. and then talking to steph and getting online and finding myself impossibly inspired by the lj entries of people i don't even know! oh oh oh and in 24 hours I will be on the road in some random place between charlotte, nc and princeton, nj. and in 48 hours! I will be in nyc eating some sort of yummy dessert in a hotel room with my sister and mom. and in 72 hours I will be coming home from some lovely play or musical, still in nyc. and in less than 110 hours I will be on the cape, unpacking into our gorgeous little corn hill cottage... and in less than 450 hours I will be arriving at jhu. and in just under 1,000 hours I will be back home to all of you whom I love so very much. Life is so unspeakably sweet and car rides into the night- and oh, long walks on the beach and sunny afternoon walks down to the ice cream shop! and oh, late night monopoly games and early mornings lounging around with pancakes and notebooks and oh just getting out of here--- There is something in the air or the mood or the world Begging me to be capricious and whimsical and frivolous and... oh, just having the space to do it in! It's alright if you don't wanna go home... I'd love to remember what it's like to be lost but comfortable- to take each day as it comes!- to be unafraid of change...to be unafraid. I'd love to forget who I am and all of this and the muddle we've been walking around in for so long we don't even realize that it's meant to be nothing but discarded at this point. I'd love to shrug my shoulders and break free or...something. And I don't have to put my finger on it!, I don't have to anything I don't feel I have to- anything. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 10:26 PM w I've been waiting the longest time for this moment to come alive posted by Teresa at 3:45 PM wSunday, June 29, 2003 I recommend getting your heart trampled by anyone... I recommend walking around naked in your living room, yeah Swallow it down What a jagged little pill It feels so good Swimmin in your stomach Wait until the dust settles... Tonight was fun. Alex and I (and alex's big sister and her big sister's date...lol) went to Chili's to get a philly cheesesteak!, then took our food to go and went and had our little pops picnic. and we walked around and talked and junk and 'stalked' and got yelled at by some rude old lady! had an eerily coincidental moment though... but yeah it was really nice and i've decided i am DEFINITELY getting married over there. see i'm gonna have the actual wedding on the stage out extended over the water...and make the evil bridesmaids who i dont like sit down!...lol, and then instead of having an expensive reception and feeding people and all that jazz i'll just set up two little tables, one for gifts and one for food. and everyone can bring food and it'll be a big pops potluck buffet, aka my wedding reception. and, you're all invited. hahaha :-D I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone I certainly do I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at anytime oh, feel free Throw it down the caution blocks you from the wind Hold it up to the rays You wait and see when the smoke clears... ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 10:38 PM w In five and a half days 136 hours 8,160 minutes 489,600 seconds I will be at the Cape, aka the most relaxing place in the entire world, aka heaven, aka God's gift to earth. Ahhhh. I cannot wait! ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 4:27 PM w I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down... This morning's been predictably church, packing, etc. Just drove over with my mom to drop gabby off at some little birthday party...and guess who i saw there? Jaime(sp...)! apparently her little sister is friends with the same girl... haha that was a nice little surprise. :) and now it's back here and back to the grind...footlocker has been stuffed with clothing, the 'animal massacre', lol, shoes, towels, sheets, etc- and it's all closed up. so now all i have to do is finish getting the stuff for the cape together. i found a spray bottle top on some old bugspray though so thats one more for the collection... :-). and mom's making me fold a whole bunch of laundry too...ah well. i'm getting there! of course, knowing my luck, i'll soon discover that i need to get something from the BOTTOM of the trunk back out... ;-) Turns out that everything I say to you Comes out wrong, it never comes out right... ~~always~-*tess* ;-D posted by Teresa at 3:31 PM w What is going on with me lately? Damn. This is so not me. I've been needing to get out of here for so long that I don't even realize it anymore. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 1:24 AM wSaturday, June 28, 2003 I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt... Today was nice. Life is sweet. Doesn't feel like a Saturday, though... mm anyway. woke up, practiced piano, went to lesson. mrs richie was 20 minutes late for meeting us at the music school...it was really annoying. ugh. anyway, got through lesson alright (despite a lecture about...yawning too much?)...then it was back home to begin the massive job of packing. My drawers now have about 10 items of clothing in them. The rest of the clothing I own (every single bit of it) is on the floor. As I'm sure you can imagine, it's a little messy. But I've basically sorted stuff into cape cod/jhu. its a huge job! also, i realized that i own like 20 (no joke) spray bottles- detangler, leave-in conditioner, scenty stuff, scenty stuff, more scenty stuff....- which would be no problem, only i also realized i have like THREE spray bottle caps. this, my friends, is a problem...ack. Anyway, alex came over around 4ish...her hair looked so cute! we chilled downstairs and had the usual caribou talk, only...in my kitchen, lol. then we walked down to pds and talked some more, lol, and then came back home- got online for a while, looked at the birthday personality thing, listened to michelle branch, and went to the movies. Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle. It was a real cute movie!...cameron diaz is very awesome. and luke wilson is very hot. also, saw another preview for how to deal. i must must must see that movie. if i dont, ill die. the end. umm...we ran into emily and some other people alex knew at the theater...that was pretty cool. haha whenever i'm with her we always end up running into SOMEONE she knows, lol...not that i mind or anything :-). ooh and also we got milkshakes at spotz, yum! anyway im home now. tomorrow will be church, packing my ass off, and pops (plus chili's, woohoo!). should be a good time! In less than 72 hours i will be outta here! wow, lol... ~~always~-*tess* ;-D posted by Teresa at 11:41 PM w can you feel it? and all i really want is some peace, man a place to find a common ground and all i really want is a wavelength...oh and all i really want is some comfort a way to get my hands untied and all i really want is some justice... posted by Teresa at 2:57 AM wFriday, June 27, 2003 The Hollow Men, by T.S. Eliot We are the hollow men We are the stuffed men Leaning together Headpiece filled with straw. Alas! Our dried voices, when We whisper together Are quiet and meaningless As wind in dry grass Or rats' feet over broken glass In our dry cellar Shape without form, shade without colour, Paralysed force, gesture without motion; Those who have crossed With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom Remember us -- if at all -- not as lost Violent souls, but only As the hollow men The stuffed men. II Eyes I dare not meet in dreams In death's dream kingdom These do not appear: There, the eyes are Sunlight on a broken column There, is a tree swinging And voices are In the wind's singing More distant and more solemn Than a fading star. Let me be no nearer In death's dream kingdom Let me also wear Such deliberate disguises Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves In a field Behaving as the wind behaves No nearer -- Not that final meeting In the twilight kingdom III This is the dead land This is cactus land Here the stone images Are raised, here they receive The supplication of a dead man's hand Under the twinkle of a fading star. Is it like this In death's other kingdom Waking alone At the hour when we are Trembling with tenderness Lips that would kiss Form prayers to broken stone. IV The eyes are not here There are no eyes here In this valley of dying stars In this hollow valley This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms In this last of meeting places We grope together And avoid speech Gathered on this beach of the tumid river Sightless, unless The eyes reappear As the perpetual star Multifoliate rose Of death's twilight kingdom The hope only Of empty men. V Here we go round the prickly pear Prickly pear prickly pear Here we go round the prickly pear At five o'clock in the morning. Between the idea And the reality Between the motion And the act Falls the Shadow For Thine is the Kingdom Between the conception And the creation Between the emotion And the response Falls the Shadow Life is very long Between the desire And the spasm Between the potency And the existence Between the essence And the descent Falls the Shadow For Thine is the Kingdom For Thine is Life is For Thine is the This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper. posted by Teresa at 11:19 PM w When you can feel the world shake from the words that are said... Damn. Funny how you can come home after a great night that followed an equally great day... and there's good old Mom to randomly decide not to do something she already agreed to and just screw everything over. Damn, damn, damn. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 10:29 PM w Follow you down but not that far... I should start packing...the plan is to lay out all the cape cod clothing on the floor, then put into piles. Then take all the stuff that's for jhu but not cape cod and put it in another pile. And then put the cape cod stuff into a duffel (get this, all my stuff for two weeks is supposed to fit in ONE duffel...those of yall who know me know i can barely fit all the stuff i want for a sleepover in one duffel...) which will surely expand to two, three?, bags...and then put the jhu stuff in a footlocker and one duffel. It occurs to me that if the rest of the family intends to pack using duffel bags, too, we may not OWN enough stuff to pack into. Fantabulistic. I guarantee you I'll forget something totally important, too...and not remember till we're in like...jersey. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 1:42 PM wThursday, June 26, 2003 This could be the one last chance to make you understand... Stuff is a little bit screwed up, but good in general. Shopping with claire was fun...big sale at afterthoughts means lots of random makeup, etc. also got two tops at wet seal and a skirt at 579. and somehow managed to spend all of my money ($70ish) by the end of the day when it felt like i'd only spent like $30...but whatever. it's all good. seeing as it's like 9:30, i'm thinking now might be a good time to eat some dinner...? ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 9:32 PM w Didn't wanna leave you with the wrong impression- Didn't wanna leave you with my last confession, yeah Wasn't trying to pull you in the wrong direction All I wanted to do was try to make a connection, yeah Falling out, falling out, haven't you wondered... The cleaning people have moved everything around and my sunglasses have disappeared. I need them. Right. Now. Also, my mariah carey cd will not play my favorite song. It skips. It did NOT used to skip. Gr. And, bleh to stuff in general. Five days... ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 12:44 PM w And I know you've got the feeling/ and I can't say I'm agreeing/ with your topic of conversation... Blogger shifted me over to its new version yesterday, which was kind of a pain in the ass because a) I liked the old version just fine, b) I don't really care enough to figure out if there's anything special about this new version, c) I couldn't get to edit this yesterday evening, and d) I couldn't post in my little 'me' blog before I went to bed...which was extremely annoying. But yeah, it's all good now, and I must say, the actual main editing screen is a lot more...'aesthetically pleasing'? Mmmm so I went to the dentist, it was...er...fun? no cavities, hooray. Then went to pick up Gabby from soccer camp, then went to Borders...went up to the listening station and heard a couple more of the tracks on the new third eye blind. after this i decided that i could not wait a second more and that i must must must buy the cd. then i realized i didn't have enough money for it...so i convinced chad to want it too by explaining to him that it was a cd with a parental advisory, and if he didn't buy it with me he would never get a cd with a parental advisory until he was like 15. which was, in fact, the truth. since he still seemed reluctant, i told him he could have a copy of midtown too once the dell got rehooked back up. therefore, in the past two days, i got two new cds for $14, including tax...so i'm happy. mm i just remembered there's veggie pizza leftovers in the fridge. woke up at like 7:30 thanks to gabby...but oh well, all those problems will be problems of the past once she has MOVED ROOMS! going shopping with claire later this afternoon, that'll be fun. and tomorrow i need to start packing. and i have to take all my posters off the walls before i go because mom/gabby are gonna paint my room while i'm gone. and i have to get down to home depot to pick my paint color. whew, busy but in the perfect busy-by-choice, summer weekday sort of way. and wow, it has been discovered that in order to reread my entry once im done, i have to use the up arrow key...there's no scrolly bar in the typey place. lol ok, thats it. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 9:35 AM wWednesday, June 25, 2003 The heart is a bloom. [ .001. ] First name: Teresa [ .002. ] Middle name: Alexandra [ .003. ] Last name: Reed [ .004. ] Nickname(s): Tess, with various endings (tessi, tessa, etc)...butterfly, lol. [ .005. ] Gender: Female [ .006. ] Age: 14 (and a half as of next monday) [ .007. ] Birthday: 12/30/88 [ .009. ] Hair color: brown! [ .010. ] Eye color: brown [ .011. ] Height: 5'5...im getting there though, i'm almost 5'5 and a half... [ .012. ] Do you wear glasses or contacts: both, contacts mostly [ .013. ] Do you have braces: not anymore! [ .014. ] Is your hair long or short: medium...a couple inches below my shoulders. [ .015. ] Where were you born: Miami [ .016. ] Current location: Charlotte [ .017. ] Zodiac sign: Capricorn [ .018. ] How many languages do you know: English, a bit of Spanish... [ .020. ] Bad habits: mmm...saying 'lol' every other line of dialogue in an im conversation, slouching (less now!)... [ .021. ] Piercings you have: two, earrings [ .022. ] Piercings you want: ah i dont think i want anymore. maybe belly button...some day. [ .023. ] Tattoos you have: none [ .024. ] Tattoos you want: none i dont think. [ .025. ] Today's date: Wednesday, June 25th [ .026. ] The time: 1:06 pm [ .027. ] Ready for a bunch more questions: sure but after this i wanna go lay out so... . : Family : . [ .028. ] Mother's name: Alexandra (ale) [ .029. ] Father's name: Used to be Solon Chadwick till he changed it to Ted because that was the name of one of his dad's (my granddad's) friends who died in ww2. [ .030. ] Step-parent's names, if any: none [ .031. ] Brother(s)'s name(s): Chad Joseph [ .032. ] Sister(s)'s name(s): Gabriela Elizabeth [ .033-037. ] Excluded??? [ .038. ] Do you get along with your parents: mostly [ .039. ] Does anyone in your family understand you: mmyeah i guess. . : School : . [ .045. ] Are you still in school: yeah but not in summer of course. [ .044. ] Did you drop out: no [ .045. ] Current gpa, or last gpa you got: 4.5 [ .046. ] Favorite grade: mm...4th was nice...so was 8th, and 9th really is pretty high up there. [ .047. ] Least favorite grade: prolly 6th. [.048. ] Favorite teacher: Mrs. Kohl, Mr. Eaddy, Mrs. Anliker...Smith and Barker too [ .049. ] Least favorite teacher: Banerjee/Horowitz. for serious. ugh. [ .050. ] Favorite subject: used to always be social studies...lol english maybe? [ .051. ] Least favorite subject: prolly math/science. [ .052. ] Do/did you buy lunch or bring it: bring [ .053. ] Play any sports on the school's team: yep, i agree with lauren...can't run, catch, or throw. so, yeah. [ .054. ] Do/did you do any extracurricular ativities: yeah [ .055. ] Are/were you popular: nah but ive got my friends. [ .056. ] Favorite dance: honestly prolly a tip one...2nd of either term. but cant forget the end of 8th grade!...or those little activity aftns in 6th? ;-) [ .057. ] Favorite memory: last night of tip 02, carowinds the last day of 8th...carowinds recently!- rain dancing and free stuffed animals!, various other things that arent coming to mind right now. [ .058. ] Least favorite dance: 3rd of tip 02 [ .059. ] Least favorite memory: some of that 6th grade stuff, enough said...and that day towards the beginning of the year when dd and steph both freaked on me at once? [ .060. ] Most humiliating moment: wow, good idea, i'll remind all my friends of times when i've embarrassed myself in front of them! . : Favorites : . [ .061. ] Number: 7, 12, 13, 14, 21, stuff with 8's [ .062. ] Clothing brand: mudd jeans...and old navy/ae/wet seal tops. [ .063. ] Shoes: i guess the ones i wore to 8th grad? [ .064. ] Saying: (after careful consideration with david...) 'mm', 'lol', and wahoo! [ .065. ] TV show: once and again was my favorite for soooo long...what i like about you, maybe, or surf girls? [ .066. ] Sport: basketball i spose...to watch only, lol. [ .067. ] Vegetable: cucumbers? are they veggies? [ .068. ] Fruit: watermelon/grapes...blackberries... [ .069. ] Movie: pearl harbor, heartbreakers, down with love, serendipity was awesome! [ .070. ] Magazine: all the teen ones are the same, lol! cg or seventeen or ym i guess... [ .071. ] Actor: Ashton, Josh Hartnett, shane west [ .072. ] Actress: Kate Hudson, Charlize Theron? [ .073. ] Candy: 3 musketeers...butterscotch hard candies. [ .074. ] Gum: the smell of cinnamony gum is really nice. [ .075. ] Scent: sephora's violet, sweet pea/night blooming jasmine from b&bw....herbal essences stuff, and a mix of a variety of other random sprays i've got lying around. [ .076. ] Candy bar: 3 musketeers, like i said.... [ .077. ] Ice cream: choc chip cookie dough! sometimes butter pecan/mint chocolate chip [ .078. ] Color: pink...red, burgundy...sometimes shades of blue/green. [ .079. ] Season: all of them. i can never decide...i guess summer and fall are up top right now...i dunno. it's always the one we're in. [ .080. ] Holiday: Christmas I guess...4th of july is really nice too. [ .081. ] Band: that comes to mind right now?...mm...white stripes and dashboard confessionals, i went through my little collective soul phase...u2! [ .082. ] Singer: michelle branch, vanessa carlton, jason mraz, john mayer, mariah, alanis, avril, jewel, norah jones, whitney houston, leann rimes, etc. [ .083. ] Group: mm tatu maybe? [ .084. ] Rapper: 50 cent right now...lol... [ .085. ] Type of music: i guess pop...but its more like anything with guitar, lol. [ .086. ] Thing in your room: memory boxes/ hot guy posters! [ .087. ] Place to be: tip. maybe the cape as a close 2nd. and then dd's house. [ .088. ] Radio station: the lineup of settings on my walkman- 1: 95.1, 2: 96.1, 3: 96.9, 4: 102.9, 5: 107.9 [ .089. ] TV channel: i turn on the tv and flip to- mtv, vh1, abcfam, wb, fox, disney, cmt...and then pick the best one. [ .090. ] Junk food: everything! :-) [ .091. ] Overall food: mm spaghetti. always. [ .092. ] Store: yeah...wet seal...old navy, ae, etc... [ .093. ] Shoe brand: nikes i guess? [ .094. ] Fast food: subway! and wendy's with deeds [ .095. ] Restaurant: azteca maybe?...or sbarros in the mall. [ .096. ] Shape: star? (lol, prettier than squares...:-) ) [ .097. ] Time of day: 11ish im usually happiest. [ .098. ] Country: the good old usa i think...havent really been anyywhere else except for canada. [ .099. ] State: prolly florida...maybe mass or connecticut though? and nc is great, of course. [ .100. ] Boy’s name: for some reason the name blake pops into my mind... [ .101. ] Girl’s name: too many. [ .102. ] Mall: mall of ga! and carolina place, south park, of course. [ .104. ] Shampoo: Herbal Essences, always. [ .105. ] Board game: life. [ .106. ] Computer game: the sims... [ .107. ] Car: anything i can have to drive! [ .108. ] Music video: ooh i was just talking to david bout this...um...right now, prolly michelle's are you happy now. all time...i dont know. all you wanted was good, i liked the guy in it and the way the raindrops froze. [ .109. ] Swear word: shit hell damn...all of which are best when said at loud volume in the hearing range of a school administrator! [ .110. ] Word: right now, abandon. see title, of course...but not like in the abandonED way, in the 'with careless abandon' way. [ .111. ] Month: December or June. fo sho. [ .112. ] Cartoon character: dont really have one...penny proud maybe? :-) [ .113. ] Scary movie: havent actually really seen any! [ .114. ] Team: mm none. [ .115. ] Possession: memory boxes/ old notebooks/ baby teddy. lol. . : What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear : . [ .116. ] Eminem: rap? [ .117. ] Dog: ruff! [ .118. ] Hot: today! [ .119. ] Britney Spears: half-naked [ .120. ] N’sync: pop...just came on mtv's summer anthem countdown thing. [ .121. ] Real World: ace, mallory. [ .122. ] Orange: fake tan [ .123. ] Choice: decision [ .124. ] Fuck: shit [ .125. ] Bisexual: transgender? [ .126. ] Black: white [ .127. ] ICQ: hm? [ .128. ] Insane clown posse: ah! [ .129. ] Linkin Park: somewhere i belong [ .130. ] Jack: tall [ .131. ] Rainbow: sunshine [ .132. ] Cherry: bracelet! [ .133. ] Cucumber: eyes [ .134. ] Shark: jellyfish, az. [ .135. ] Lifehouse: emmy (tip roommate in 01) [ .136. ] Bat: cave [ .137. ] Leather: pigs...lol [ .138. ] Whip: wapow! [ .139. ] America: God Bless [ .140. ] Water: thirsty [ .141. ] Volcano: commercial. . : This or that : . [ .142. ] Rock or rap: depends on mood. [ .143. ] Rock or pop: Pop [ .144. ] Rock or r&b: depends on mood [ .145. ] Rock or metal: Rock [ .146. ] Rap or pop: pop [ .148. ] Rap or metal: rap [ .149. ] Pop or r&b: pop [ .150. ] Pop or metal: pop [ .151. ] R&b or metal: r&b [ .152. ] Linkin Park or Limp Bizkit: Linkin Park [ .153. ] Tool or Korn: Korn i guess... [ .154. ] Selena or Jennifer Lopez: J Lo [ .155. ] Hot or cold: Hot [ .156. ] Winter or summer: Summer [ .157. ] Spring or fall: Fall [ .158. ] Shakira or Britney: shakira, fo sho! [ .159. ] ICP or Eminem: Eminem [ .160. ] Marilyn Manson or Rob Zombie: mmneither... [ .161. ] Kittie or Garbage: neither... [ .162. ] MTV or Vh1: both!!! [ .163. ] Buffy or Angel: buffy, deeds'd kill me otherwise. [ .164. ] Dawson's Creek or Gilmore Girls: Gilmore Girls [ .165. ] Football or basketball: basketball... [ .166. ] Summer olympics or winter olympics: Winter are better to watch [ .167. ] Skiing or snowboarding: Skiing [ .168. ] Rollarblading or skateboarding: rollerblading [ .169. ] Black or white: White [ .170. ] Orange or red: red [ .171. ] Yellow or green: green [ .172. ] Purple or pink: pink [ .173. ] Slipknot or Mudvayne: Slipknot [ .174. ] Hot Topic or Pac Sun: Pac Sun, lol [ .175. ] Inside or outside: right now, outside [ .176. ] Weed or alcohol: alcohol... [ .177. ] Cell phone or pager: the cell i dont have... [ .178. ] Pen or pencil: Pen [ .179. ] Powerpuff Girls or Charlie's Angels: Charlie's Angels [ .180. ] Scooby Doo or Dino: scooby! like at carowinds ;-)! [ .181. ] Dragon Ball Z or Pokemon: haha pokemon i guess? [ .182. ] Star Wars or Star Trek: mmm not really either... [ .183. ] Tattoos or piercings: piercings [ .184. ] Prep or punk: ...well i mean if you have to put everyone in a nice little category...prep i guess. [ .185. ] Slut or whore: haha...slut? . : Private life : . [ .186. ] Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: nah [ .187. ] Do you have a crush: crushes... :-) [ .188. ] Do you love anyone right now: not in the in-love way, lol [ .189. ] Have you ever been in love: nah... [ .191. ] How many hearts have you broken: one or two... [ .192. ] How many people broke your heart: just 'damaged'. [ .193. ] Best quote to sum up love: I'll get back to you on that one. [ .194. ] What is your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush like: awesome, otherwise i wouldnt like them...(what kinda question is this?) [ .195. ] Do you have a picture of him/her: maybe [ .196. ] Do you have a picture of yourself: uh yeah... [ .197. ] Do you go by looks or personality: both of course...and yes, definitely more personality. [ .198. ] Ever kiss a friend: nope. [ .199. ] Are you still friends: n/a [ .200. ] Moving along... do you smoke: nope [ .201. ] Do you smoke weed: nope [ .202. ] Ever trip on acid: nope [ .203. ] How about a little e: no thanks [ .204. ] Crack, heroin, anything else: nope [ .205. ] Beer good or beer bad: beer=carbonation, carbonation=ew...lol. but still depends [ .206. ] Are you the sissy who drinks Wine Coolers: not really [ .207. ] Do you like Smirnoff Ice: dk [ .208. ] Prefer beer or liquor: liquor, no carb [ .209. ] What kind of cigarettes do you smoke: none . : Would you ever : . [ .210. ] Bungee jump: sure! [ .211. ] Sky dive: why not [ .212. ] Swim with dolphins: course [ .213. ] Scuba dive: ...maybe. [ .214. ] Go rock climbing: of course [ .215. ] Eat shit for $1,000,000: haha a million dollars? sure [ .216. ] Turn your back on your friends for personal gain: i'd like to think i wouldn't... [ .217. ] Steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: ooh...no, i dont think so. [ .218. ] Cross-dress: yeah, sure, lol... [ .219. ] Lie to the police: yep [ .220. ] Run from the police: yep i spose [ .221. ] Lie to your parents: who hasnt?! [ .222. ] Walk up to a stranger and kiss them: sure lol [ .223. ] Be an exotic dancer: i doubt it [ .224. ] Walk out of a restaurant without paying: nah [ .225. ] Streak: hahaa . : Your friends : . [ .226. ] Best friend: DD of course. [ .227. ] Known longest: did I mention dd? [ .228. ] Wish you talked to more: all my friends... [ .229. ] Wish you saw more: nancy, laura, tipsters, fo sho. [ .230. ] How many friends do you think you have: mm close? somewhere between 10 and 20 ...otherwise? i dont know, im not gonna like sit around and count lol [ .231. ] Who drives you insane after a while: yep, everyone at a certain point... [ .232. ] Who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: dd maybe just cause we understand each other... [ .233. ] Ever lose a good friend because you took that to the 'next level': yeah. [ .234. ] Can always make you laugh: plenty of people, it's not too hard. [ .235. ] Hot tempered: i...don't know. [ .236. ] Most impatient: maybe me... [ .237. ] Shortest: nancy i think... [ .238. ] Tallest: charlie? [ .239. ] Skinniest: linzy [ .240. ] Nicest: dd fakes it verrrry well lol [ .241. ] Best personality: yeah, everyone. [ .242. ] Biggest drug user: none of my good friends . : Have you ever : . [ .243. ] Flashed someone: nah [ .244. ] Told the person you liked how you felt: only once when it wasn't after they said they liked me first so... [ .245. ] Been to Michigan: nope [ .246. ] Gotten really REALLY wasted: nope [ .247. ] Gone to jail or juvie: nope [ .248. ] Skateboarded: nope [ .249. ] Skinny dipped: nah [ .250. ] Stolen anything: not like from a store... [ .251. ] Wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: ummm no. [ .252. ] Kicked someone's ass: lol nah... [ .253. ] Pegged someone in the head with a snowball: haha yep [ .254. ] Broke a beer bottle: nope [ .255. ] Gotten into a bar, under-aged: nope [ .256. ] Kissed someone of the same sex: nope [ .257. ] Flipped someone off: course [ .258. ] Gone on a road trip: not really... [ .259. ] Gone on vacation without adult supervision: nope [ .260. ] Been to a concert:...wow. actually, i dont think i have. wow lol [ .261. ] Been to another country: yeah [ .262. ] Talked back to an adult: "who hasn't?" [ .263. ] Gotten pulled over: well maybe if i could DRIVE [ .264. ] Gotten in a car accident: see above.... [ .266. ] Given money to a homeless person: no but my parents have so... [ .267. ] Tried to kill yourself: not really [ .268. ] Cried to get out of trouble: haha yes. and yep, it does work! . : Opinions : . [ .272. ] What do you think about pop music: i love some of it...some sucks. [ .273. ] About boy bands: used to love lol, not anymore. [ .274. ] About flag burning: freedom of speech. it's all good. [ .275. ] Of the war on terrorists: terrorists? sure. iraq? bush is an idiot, enough said. [ .276. ] About suicide: bad decision. there's always something to live for. [ .277. ] About people who try to force their opinions on you: yes, definitely pisses me off. [ .278. ] About abortion: there's no way it should be banned. pro-choice, don't even get me started...lol and yeah i know i'm catholic... [ .279. ] About rock/metal music: not my music of choice but it's okay... [ .280. ] Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: who knows! ideally...out of school, lawyer in nyc or some place cool like that, engaged but not yet married. [ .281. ] Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: dd is the only absolute certainty. .: What did you do.:. [ .282. ] Last birthday: wow, i actually don't even remember. well i think i spent my actual birthday getting spoiled by the family, and then did a little shopping/sleepover/end of winter break thing with laur and deeds. [ .283. ] Yesterday: talked to david in the eeeeearly morning, slept, lazed around, got hotel paper!, spent the night with deeds...watched serendipity. [ .284. ] Last weekend: piano class, priya's party, babysitting, sleep. lol a great summer weekend. [ .285. ] Christmas: yep, opened presents...just the family. [ .286. ] Thanksgiving: liz, grandma, grandpa, grandma pat all came down and i spent the day...talking on the phone, helping in the kitchen, watching the parade, etc. and the next day i went shopping! with deeds [ .287. ] New year's eve: celebrated with the neighbors as always. [ .288. ] Halloween: trick-or-treated with deeds and lauren! [ .289. ] Easter: hahaa...wow, not a particularly great day. but went to church and to the pasquinis as always. [ .290. ] Valentine's day: had a good time, ate lots of candy!, but stayed in that night due to grounding and talked to laura for like three hours on the phone. . : The last : . [ .291. ] Thing you ate: oreos at dd's :-) [ .292. ] Thing you drank: yeah, water [ .293. ] Thing you wore: jean capris and a red old navy tee [ .294. ] Place you went: dd's house...went to borders/starbucks while there. [ .295. ] Thing you got pierced/tattooed: ears [ .296. ] Person you saw: dad, cleaning man. [ .299. ] Song you heard: hot in herre (watching trl summer anthems) . : Now : . [ .300. ] What are you eating: nothing [ .301. ] What are you drinking: nothing [ .303. ] Any shoes on: no [ .304. ] Hair: low ponytail [ .305. ] Listening to: commercials on cmt [ .306. ] Talking to anyone: nancy, mary, david [ .307. ] Are you pissed I made this so long: nah. well that was nice. and now, off to lay out and whatnot... ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 2:46 PM wTuesday, June 24, 2003 It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch/ Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch... Last night was staying up to break my personal record of online conversations...7 hours and 40 minutes with david, till 3:30...woohoo! Then sleeping in till noonish, getting up to laze around the house for a bit...and then, call dd! because, yes, ladies and gentlemen, the best friend has returned! Which, of course, meant immediate plans for a sleepover, complete with chickflickaciousness and the splitting of a michelle branch cd to copy. Ah yes, cheap we are...cheap but smart! The CD is even better when you can turn it up on full volume in your stereo. I am in love love love with it. Spirit Room was great, this is about a billiion times better. If you do not buy it (or, if you're special, ask me or dd for a copy) you are stupid. And missing out. Mmm so now it's off to watch serendipity and possibly make the good old oodles of noodles...one week as of tomorrow until I'm outta here! Also, I must must must have the new train cd. and the new third eye blind. must must must. ~~always~-*tess* ;-D posted by Teresa at 11:19 PM w ... Wow, you must go here. Very cool. And, very true. And, I'm up late...second night in a row I promised myself to go to bed by midnight. Ah well. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 1:21 AM wMonday, June 23, 2003 It's times like these, time and time again... ::last cigarette: Ew. Never, of course. ::last car ride: mmm...wow. Last night, out to dinner at a Thai place with the family. ::last good cry: Mmmm...late at night sometime last week. Tues/Wed/Thurs...one of them. ::last library book checked out: haha a sweet valley high trash paperback. good stuff, good stuff. ::last movie seen: Alex and Emma! awesome, and oh so sweet. ::last book read: Edith Wharton- Ethan Frome. Mom's request, wahoo. ::last cuss word uttered: mmm no clue. shit, probably. maybe damn/hell. lol. ::last beverage drank: white grape juice- yummy. ::last food consumed: sandwich from d&d's. about to be string cheese. ::last crush: :-) haha, and, of course, i'm gonna share it up here... ::last phone call: mm...not sure. ::last tv show watched: Surf Girls, watching making the video on vh1 for madonna's hollywood now, lol. ::last time showered: This afternoon. ::last shoes worn: nikes. ::last cd played: josh kelley, with az at the pool. ::last item bought: a cherry bracelet at claires, friday with priya! ::last thing downloaded: foo fighters, times like these (acoustic) ::last annoyance: long, very long, story. Sunday. ::last disappointment: see above. ::last soda drank: mmm it was prolly sprite, and obviously a long time ago. ::last thing written: this survey- the survey before it- and then some poems on my other little blog thing. ::last key used: house, of course, coming in from the pool with az... ::last word spoken: night dad. ::last sleep: between 3 am and noon today. ::last im: David and Az. ::last weird encounter: Ooh a while back I think... ::last ice cream eaten: Butter pecan this afternoon...yum. ::last time amused: this conversation with david, lol. and discovering tarday. wahoo. ::last time wanting to die: yeeears ago, fo sho. ::last time hugged: Dad, about half an hour ago. ::last time scolded: Mom, when she got home from Chad's game. For forgetting to do dishwork when az was over here... ::last time resentful: mm...right when i woke up this morning. ::last chair sat in: This lovely spinny chair. Used to be the Dell comp chair, is now the Gateway one. ::last lipstick used: don't. lip gloss though? my sour smackers stuff from like two years ago...yummy as ever though :-). ::last shirt worn: white 579 tank. ::last time dancing: Madonna's Hollywood, just now. ::last poster looked at: Shane West. :-) ::last show attended: mm dunno. ::last webpage visited: blogger, of course. posted by Teresa at 11:21 PM w Fold me up. Take me out. I'm portable... Hmmmm. Just makes ya think. 1. What do you most want to be remembered for? Wow. I don't know...nothing too extraordinary. Just being a good person I spose- good sister, good daughter, good friend. Being me. Living my life. 2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life? Three. It's not having what you want; it's wanting what you've got. ~Sheryl Crow Life is a continuum. ~Mollie (a camp friend) Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens - The main thing is not to hurry, or worry. Nothing good gets away. ~John Steinbeck 3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year? Tangibly? Either medalling at sci oly or making that year 'a' in studies. For the real answers, just see the good old reflections. 4. What about the past ten years? Well that's basically my entire life. So...I really don't know. I don't really think there is one. Like, I have one single encompassing achievement that is the greatest achievement of my life so far. Give it time. 5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say? Count your life in the smiles and the laughter and the good times and the people you love, and have faith in yourself and those around you. And, see #3. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 10:13 PM w ...So let me introduce you to the end... Survey-Time 8:33 // YOUR ROOM, WAKING UP // 01. What color are your walls? white 02. What color is your bedspread/sheets? white sheets with little blue doves on them, blue patchworkish comforter. but thats all gonna change with the room makeover, woohoo! 03. What color is your rug? beige. 04. Any posters/bulletin boards/designs in your room? of course...posters- josh hartnett, a cg guy of the month, shane west, paul walker, jt...my flower collages, a john mayer collage, a jay martinez picture, my tip door marker from last year, a polar bear poster and some sci oly stuff, and of course gabby's soccer stuff :-p. ooh, and the recently added eclectic wisdomosities. 05. Do you have a TV? Is it big? nope not in my room. my parents would never let me. 06. Do you have a phone? yeah the black portable is docked in my room 07. Do you have your own computer? nope but i will! 08. Do you have a desk? nope but i will! 09. What are your most treasured belongings in your room? baby teddy i spose. and my memory boxes. 10. What are your most favorite things in your room? my flower collages... 11. Do you have any fancy lights in your room? er no. just the ceiling light and a lamp...and gabby's lava lamp. // GETTING READY // 01. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? during summer?- rub my eyes, look at the clock, run through the coming day in my head, run through my dreams, run through the past day. 02. Anything unusual? mm...sometimes i like to listen to a song or two on my walkman before i get out of bed. 03. Do you pick out your clothes the night before? well it's either that or fumble around in the dark, so yeah. 04. Do you try your best to look cute for school? yeah mostly i guess...sometimes i get lazy though, lol. // SCHOOL // 01. What color is your backpack? green 02. Do you try your best when it comes to school work? not really. i just get it done and do as little as possible to get the highest grade i think i can. except for with writing type stuff, i guess. 03. Do you listen or doodle? a little of both. anliker...listen. horowitz...hahahahaaaaa. doodle, aka write notes. 04. BE QUIET - we all know you doodle, but what do you doodle? stars and flowers. sometimes lines of lyrics, notes, poetry if it comes to me. 05. Do you eat your cafeteria food, or bring lunch? well usually bring lunch and then either use like fifty cents and go to the vending machines or find someone else with yummier food... :-) 06. What do you do right when schools over? meet dd lol, either outside la or in the center of the quad. then either go somewhere with her (home, bio tutoring...etc), or walk down to the buses and then go to the front office to sit. and sit. and sit. but then again, all this is last year, so... // HOME // When you come home are you. . . 01. Miserable? seldom 02. Happy? often. 03. Tired? always. 04. LEAVE ME ALONE? depends who's asking. // OTHER // 01. Do you take walks around your neighborhood sometimes? yeah, pretty frequently. 02. What are some hobbies of yours? music, reading, writing...okay you guys know all this already. 03. Do you collect anything? only the memory box type stuff...old notes, ticket stubs, etc. 04. What do you do in your spare time? see this section, #2 05. Are you in love, or at least falling? nope. // NIGHT TIME // 01. What do you do before you go to bed? um...i have to put on chapstick. and turn the fan onto level 3, and make sure i have my walkman. 02. Do you kiss your parents/guardians goodnight, or just say "goodnight"? depends on my mood, their mood, etc. 03. What way do you sleep (ex: on your side, tummy, etc.)? i always get in bed and lay on my right side facing the wall. and then i roll onto my stomach or back. and then when i get actually sleepy i roll onto my left side facing the fan and fall asleep. one time i tried to just start on my left side...it didn't work. 04. Do you like your life? Yep. I mean it sure isn't perfect but...it's mine and so if I didn't I would've gotten started trying to change it by now. It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 8:52 PM w ...Cause if you've got the poison, I've got the remedy... I have succeeded in thoroughly screwing up my personal time clock or whatever the special name for that is. My body seems to be under the impression that it is not reasonable to ever go to bed before 1 am, and that waking up before noon is like waking up at seven for a normal person. This definitely needs to be fixed. Then again, it's summer... Anything goes. ~~always~-*tess* ;-D posted by Teresa at 2:34 PM wSunday, June 22, 2003 ...She'd been driving round the town for a while, playing with the thought of leaving... She said I might not be seeing him soon I got a few things I've been waiting to do She says to say goodbye Looked outside at the car in the drive And the suitcase on the backseat inside... She said I might not be seeing him soon... What is it about Sundays? Even summer Sundays. They're just so...unsettling. Gloomy, somehow. They're never the beginning of the week to me, but rather the end. The falling action. Ugh. It occurs to me that I don't think anyone really reads this anymore, but that's quite alright. I feel so inspired and yet entirely unmotivated. I'll read for a bit, maybe, and go to bed around midnight. We'll see what tomorrow brings. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 11:31 PM w ...all the things that I used to know have gone out the window... My favorite is Tuesday Morning, followed closely by Till I Get Over You. Both beautiful. Tuesday Morning just has a nice sound to it in general, but great lyrics of course, and a fantastic way of painting pictures in your head. The vocals on Till I Get Over You are awesome. My least favorite is definitely It's You. Last track. Then again, Drop in the Ocean was my least favorite on Spirit Room (it's also the last track) at first, but it grew on me like crazy. So the same thing'll probably happen with this one, it just irritates me on first listen. Find My Way Back, Empty Handed, Love Me Like That, Breathe, and Hotel Paper are also just so beautifully artistic...and Are You Happy Now, of course, is great, but we all knew that already. There's 13 tracks including the intro. Thank God for Michelle Branch being able to put out another 'stellar' album. I'm lovin it. And there's my random semi-review thing, from my entirely non-expert point of view. But, everyone needs this album. For serious. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 5:07 PM w ...I write mostly on hotel paper... Wow. Just got inside and aol pops up with a firstlisten of the entire Hotel Paper cd. I MUST have the cd. Burned, bought, whatever. I. Must. Have. It. I mean so we all could tell from 'are you happy now' that this was gonna be a different sound but...it's amazing. I love love love it. I loved spirit room too but this one...it's just so much deeper and there's so much more diversity of sound on the album itself. Hooray. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 4:53 PM w ...I hear you whispering the words that melt everyone, but you stay so cool... Stayed up till 4:30 last night/this morning and finished hp. just one of those things, it got to be like 2 and i was at 550 and i was like, what the hell, i'll just finish the whole thing. fun stuff. also, aol radio just played nsync's i drive myself crazy. a little behind the times, are we? so anyway, i just woke up, and now i think i'll go lay out or something before church/dinner. life's really good, despite a couple of purely irritating mars in the sea of sweet happiness. and with that, short but sweet, i'm off. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 3:06 PM wSaturday, June 21, 2003 ...I'm waiting for the sky to fall, I'm waiting for a sign... Today was just sweet. Busy, but in that thoroughly satisfying way. Woke up at 8:30, practiced piano, got ready to go...lesson wasn't too bad!, and Dad surprised me with the newest HP after class. Gabby got to read the 4th first, so I get this one...she won't get off my case whenever I take my eyes off the page, either, lol. I'm at 396 and counting... Anyway after that it was off to Priya's, we swam and went to the movies and curled geeta's hair and just had a good time. And then back home to inhale-exhale before jetting over to babysit...the kids were only up for about 10 minutes, too, so that was nice. I'm entirely exhausted. But I think I'll stay online for a little while, of course, and then maybe read or write or something. Wow, I love that feeling when you get home at the end of the day and you're entirely exhausted and barely have the urge to think anymore...but you have time to stay up for a little while, and then you'll get in bed and fall right asleep and...yum, lol. So much love. ~~always~-teresa ;-D posted by Teresa at 11:44 PM w ...one day I'll go dancing on that moon... Have I mentioned recently that Claire is the best ever and that I owe her bunches and bunches and that she is my forever savior? And also that the time limits are no longer a problem, due to the incredible generosity and helpfulness of the aforementioned awesome person. cetgoddess: i love you like a skinny kid with good metabolism loves cake, because not only does it taste good, it doesnt make him fat! And I love you like a fat kid who's been living in a cakeless cave for a year loves a cake store. Yes, Claire rocks my socks. :-D posted by Teresa at 12:20 AM wFriday, June 20, 2003 ...Broadway's dark tonight- a little bit weaker than you used to be... Went to South Park with Priya. Great time. However, I have discovered, much to my dismay, that the Sears is closing! Sad, yes...but also the cause of some verrrrry nice sales. Hooray. Ate dinner at Manchu Wok. Yum. The man gave me sweet tea even though I didn't ask for it, and then charged me for it, too. But oh well, it's just life in the big city. I got a little silver bracelet with a cherry on it and this flower thing that I'm gonna put pens in once I get my new desk set up. Good stuff. Wow, there's really not much to say, is there? Reading ethan frome by edith wharton. Mom's decided if I don't finish it by the end of the weekend then i'm grounded...or...something...but yeah. so i guess i'll have to do some reading...not too bad since i'm actually starting to get into it. piano lesson to get through tomorrow morning, but after that it's 5+ hours at priya's! note to self- must wrap present... i'm planning to actually get some sleep tonight, seeing as i can't stay online half the night thanks to my lovely mom. ah well, it's all good. posted by Teresa at 9:30 PM w ...so long as you're alive and care, promise i will take you there... hooooly crap. my mother has thoroughly outsmarted me...or, rather, she is just smarter than i thought. because she has changed her password. AND my dad's password. which means that these retarded time limits actually affect me. dammmmn you have no idea how annoying it is. i can't even put my away up! and if i need to talk to a certain specific person and i want to put my away up for them to call me or if i want to put my away up until they come on i cannnnnnnnt i just have to get online every like 5 minutes and see if theyre on yet. this is definitely the second most retarded thing ever... ;-D posted by Teresa at 2:04 PM w Well even though I didn't get to sleep till like 2:30, at least I slept late. And, I had the weirdest dream ever. I dreamed that we were all eating dinner at our neighbor's, and it was Mom, Dad, Aunt Liz, Grandma, Gabby, Chad, and myself. And then, I had invited elbie's grandma to eat with us. So Elbie's grandma came and sat down and ate with us, and we were trying to think of what to call her, because 'Grandma' and 'Grammy' and stuff were already taken. And then we figured out she was our step-step grandma...maybe she was actually our greatgrandma or something? I don't know. Anyway, yeah, definitely the weirdest dream ever. Especially since I've never even met elbie's grandma...or her parents for that matter... yeah. Bizarre, in a word. posted by Teresa at 12:11 PM w oh what a lovely day to have a slice of humble pie recalling of the while we used to drive and drive here and there... and we knew it was time to take a chance here and time to compromise our lives for awhile and it was time for all the wrong reasons but time is often on my side and I give it to you tonight and we sleep all sleep all day sleep all, we sleep all day over again posted by Teresa at 2:20 AM w I can't fall asleep. It's 2 in the goddamn morning, and I can't sleep. It's not even like there's crap going around in my head, either. What is wrong with me lately? And, please, how do I fix it? posted by Teresa at 2:06 AM wThursday, June 19, 2003 ...and you can come and see them when I'm done, when I'm done... I just realized that I am really going to be gone for five and half weeks. That is a long, long, long time to go without talking to hardly any of you. The only person I really know I'll talk to is Deeds. And I imagine, if or when I get inspired, many of you will be getting postcards...but, I don't know. Cause once you quit, you can't get it back again... I hate the concept of 'missing' things. People, and things. It all slips away in the end. I'm tired, but not tired enough to go to bed. posted by Teresa at 11:07 PM w It's the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fine... It is summer. Summer, the season intended for lazy teenagers who have no desire whatsoever in doing anything other than nothing. Summer, three months of computer and tv and junk and rot your brain out and empty it of all the knowledge you got into it during the school year. Summer, the time to slack off and screw around and be entirely unproductive. Sadly enough, it appears that my mother has missed this bulletin. And now she decides to put time limits on my screenname. How impossibly irritating. Although this is merely a slight obstacle on my path to eternal summer time-wasting, seeing as I can very easily get onto her screenname and...er...change things around...it's still annoying. I am going through every song on Kazaa and listening to all 432 of them. It's very interesting to see the masses of music I've accumulated. And, oh, the memories... posted by Teresa at 10:36 PM w I wanna get free I wanna get free I wanna get free Ride into the sun Template needs a change. Desperately. And I think I want to add links...we'll see. So, if any of you people who actually understand html would like to help me out, I would be deeply and forever indebted...otherwise, my plans for change will never be carried through. Not that it really matters anyhow. I love VH1. 100 greatest songs of the past 25 years. Very nice. Went to DQ, chocolate chip cookie dough blizzard=yum. I don't think I can wait two weeks for vacation. I have an impossibly pressing urge to run away from everything, or, nothing. Ooh this could get messy But you don't seem to mind Ooh don't go telling everybody And overlook this supposed crime... What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept? What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget? What with this distance it seems so obvious? posted by Teresa at 9:20 PM w PS: Much thanks and love to Claire. posted by Teresa at 4:46 PM w Damn, I gotta get out of this place I'm at. Everything feels like a cliche. posted by Teresa at 4:40 PM w Wow. Blogger has not posted my last...3 posts. Isn't that friendly. posted by Teresa at 10:58 AM wWednesday, June 18, 2003 Some people confuse me. Please let it be sunny tomorrow, please, please, please. Toenails shall be repainted tonight. I believe two good movies are coming out on Friday...Legally Blonde 2 and the Justin and Kelly one. Good stuff. Today, I watched 50 Greatest Women of the Video Era on VH1. It was inspiring. And that's the end of this fluff entry. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 8:17 PM w have a random survey from a tipsters blog... ~Ten years ago- june 18, 1993 (wow!) i was four years old, lived in miami, gabby was barely six months!, chad wasn't even born!, i was probably at my little summer day care center place. ~Five years ago- june 18, 1998- i was nine years old, lived here, gabby was five, chad was four, it was the summer after...fourth grade. so i was at grp maybe (my summer camp from back then)...or fripp. ~One year ago- june 18, 2002- i was 13, summer after 8th grade- at tip, prolly on class break (wow, memories...)- a really different person. ~Six months ago- wednesday, december 18...it was 12 days till my birthday! and six days past gabby's, ten days past deeds', eight days past josh's...it was a b day, so i was either at lunch or just getting into bio...it was two days until winter break, and my daytimer informs that 'br4 power point due'. so yeah. ~One month ago- it was May 18th. a sunday. blog says... Sunday, May 18, 2003 Thank goodness, the two-tone is complete. I don't think it's exactly what she wants...because it's not really formatted enough but...it's the best I have the energy to do. In the same fashion as my lovely friend Claire, I would like to defend myself against a certain gutter-minded rich white boy individual who LOVES to use quotes out of context... and point out that "take it offffff" was not in reference to ANY article of clothing whatsoever. Thank you :-). ~~always~-*Teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 9:31 PM ...Come on, try a little Nothing is forever There's got to be something better than In the middle... Today has been a very DREARY sort of day. Actually, I don't know what I've done...it's like, I got home from church at 12, and since 5:30 I've been talking to people online/talking on the phone/doing math homework, but im afraid those other five and a half hours sort of...disappeared. Hmm...like the Lost Colony? Only, not. Um...everyone should download "One Headlight" by Wallflowers. I don't know how you could NOT love it. It's fantabulistic. Really and truly. Also, I would like to defend my newfound love of country music. It's really not that bad. Just give it a chance. haha that sounds so bizarre. well...laura got me hooked on jo dee messina around september: lesson in leaving. And then when I went to SC a couple weeks ago I heard another jo dee messina song...and then the other day there was nothing on kiss or the link so i just randomly surfed through radio stations and 96.9 came on and...seriously, some of the songs are not half bad. Selective listening, y'all, selective listening. Ouch I just said yall while talking about country music. Ackness. Haha okay...I have a ton of math homework left and anliker poetry - and ive had writers block since sunday- so...I definitely DON'T think I'm gonna get much sleep tonight. Bleh. Also, i have to do my comm serv booklet since I definitely forgot it Thurs and Fri. erghness... ~~always~-*Teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 8:14 PM "Honey, did you take your breast hormones yet?" posted by Teresa at 1:26 PM ~Two weeks ago- wednesday, june 4th. i guess i was in the middle of my sat exam right about now? so i was in anliker's class. two weeks ago exactly. blog has the 'layers' survey and a giveaway of the studies binders. wow. ~One week ago- was the first full day of summer. an awesome day. and dd came over and i chilled at the y with steph and i did a survey, the one that starts off 'are you special'. ~Two days ago- priya's birthday. i was babysitting, and then i tanned and went shopping and watched never been kissed. good stuff. ~One day ago- i was at carowinds with steph and christie and lauren. and we were probably on thunder road. lol. ~Twelve hours ago- I was online and getting ready to go to bed. ~One hour ago- I was asleep. ~In one hour- I'll either be on a run or folding laundry or in the shower or cleaning my room... ~In twelve hours- I'll be online, or on the phone, or watching tv, or asleep. ~In one day- I'll probably be asleep...I might be up and playing piano or watching tv or eating breakfast or something? ~In two days- Same as above. ~In one week- June 25th. Gabby's room will be painted! if my mom has her way, i will be volunteering somewhere...if i have mine, i'll be at home, slacking off. because it's summer and that's what you're supposed to do. ~In two weeks- July 2nd. i will be on the road, on my way to the cape. i'll be listening to my cd player and thinking and very, very, very happy. that one's a guarantee. :-) ~In one month- July 18th. it'll be my second to last day at the cape. i'll be on the beach, hopefully with isabel, and getting ready for jhu... ~In six months- woooow. it'll be December 18th. and sophomore year will be almost halfway over. it'll be thursday...and everything will be established, and we probably won't even think about freshman year that much anymore. and things will probably be pretty different from last year. but all the transitioning will be totally over. wow wow. ~In one year- sophomore year will be over. and we'll be juniors. and high school will be halfway over. i'll have my permit...and i might be at tip, or i might have some kind of summer job...and high school will be halfway over. in a year. and it feels like just yesterday that high school was entirely this thing of the future. ~In five years- summer. between...sophomore and junior year of college. who knows where i'll be or what i'll be doing or who i'll be with or....wow. and i'll be nineteen. ~In ten years- college will be over. i'll be 24 years old. maybe i'll be in law school? would it last that long? i guess i'll have a job by then...maybe maybe i'll be engaged or married or something...i don't know, that's a little younger then i'd want to be. and i probably won't even talk to about half of you on a regular basis. Wow. Makes you think. Time freaks me out. It's sort of like the crap in bio. It's just so much bigger than us. Even when the world blows up and there aren't any clocks or anything to keep track of it, there will still be time. I don't know how many more things have that sort of guarantee on them. And in the same breath, it's so easy to still think that time lasts forever. and it comes in such a limited supply. and it's so easy to waste minutes, hours...days...weeks, months, years. what if you waste it all? cause one of these days we're bound to wake up and realize we're 30. or 40, or 50...a year and a half ago, i was a really different person. six months ago, even, i was different. how different will i be when i'm thirty?! Time brings awe because inevitably, with time, comes change. And change is the statement that is actually an unanswerable question, the assurance that things will not always be the same but the uncertainty of the fact that we don't know how things will be. It's a risk. Everything right this instant is just good. So it's easy to want it to stay the same, it's easy to want freshman year to last forever, it's easy to want to make things stand still. But if time had frozen at the end of eighth grade, I wouldn't have found the different state of mind, the different person, the different world that I found over the summer and then this year. If there was no passage of time, there would be no remembrance, and more importantly, no change. Because it's so easy, so often, to think you've found entire happiness, entire satisfaction...and then, a month later, a year later, three years later, you look back and realize that in comparison to other experiences, that was nothing at all. And that is the gift of time and the gift of change, in addition to the curse. The curse being that when we are a hundred years old, we'll wake up and realize that the happiest we ever were was the year 2002, or 2003, or 2004...and ever since then, it's just been downhill. The rational part of me knows that's hardly possible...the part that has a slight tendency ;-) to overanalyze panics at the idea. But if you don't take the risk, although you don't have a choice, if you don't make the leap of faith, if you stay in the safe places and surround yourself with the secure and easy memories, you never get a chance to make better memories, to find better worlds, to be a better person. To, in essence, be happier. And since life is such a balancing act, it all has to be balanced, it all has to be remembered but not focused on. Because if you make everything into a quest for the future, for the epitomes, for the future, you forget to savor the moments along the way. That is my conclusion for the day, which is now almost half over. Time. Funny how that works so well. Funny how I manage to turn a quickie survey into this huge dissertation on time and change and nothing at all... Funny how much I love to contradict myself. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 11:47 AM wTuesday, June 17, 2003 Today. was. great. Woke up, and even though it was overcast, lauren and i went through with plans and went to carowinds with christie and steph. i forgot my season pass, being the ib-er that i am, and had to go to guest services and get another one...yeah, anyway. it was suuuuuch a blast. we rode thunder road ten times, six backwards and four forwards. the lines were all really short which was verrrry cool and we rode in the front of everything and just had a great group and a great time. around noon or so we got tired of roller coasters, and, being the incredibly intelligent girls we are, decided to go on all the water rides...in the unsunny weather, with no bathingsuits or towels and in tennis shoes...and, smart as i am, i was wearing a white shirt...but ya know, its all good. anyway so around 2 when it started monsooning we were already pretty wet, mainly from whitewater falls lol...and we figured, what the hell. so while everyone else was standing under awnings and in stores and whatnot, we were running around with no lines for anything, riding runaway reptar (third times the charm!), getting killed by stinging raindrops on top gun, dancing by the fountains...and making fun of all the people who weren't having any fun cause they were afraid of a little monsoon! :-D (like the dippin dots man!) and then after we got off of top gun we were walking past one of the little booth things and i saw these big stuffed ducks and they were really, really cute...and so we went up and i started talking to the guy running the booth and asked him if i could have a duck for free...and wooohoooo he was just like 'well, tell ya what, if you pay to play i'll give you a duck even if you dont win'. so i had bunches of fun slamming a random hammer on the little frog catapult thing (or missing ;-) ) and got an adorable big old stuffed duck. and then i named it after scott, the fun technician, who was a junior at providence. so we now have scott providence, jr. the duck. woohooo! and then we made friends with chris, the other fun technician. good stuff. and somehow in between wild thornberrys adventure lol and whitewater falls i lost my earring backing so we sat down and tried to figure out a way to keep it in...and then we saw scooby doo. so i called him over and even though he didn't have an earring backing he called yogi bear over to help too. and even though HE didn't have an earring backing either- surprises, surprises...- they were still nice. and scooby gave me a flower. good stuff! and also i learned something about someone that i didn't know and it gave me a newfound sympathy for them as a person. interesting... in conclusion, { Blondenblu23 [9:34 PM]: 06 FA REAL! }, 'this ride sure as hell wasnt made by men', 'you have to be chunky to ride in the front!', 'oh thats it, the little kids are going down!', 'ohhhh schnapppp, here we go yall' ;-), 'wuss!!!!!', and of course 'ohhhh schnap... here we go yall'! i just about lost my voice, too. the best time i've had in a super super long time. and of course, another epitome moment of summer...there's nothing quite like running around in your sopping wet tanks and soffes and your squelching tennis shoes with three awesome friends in the pouring rain as you climb on runaway reptar for the third time and prepare to be killed by the stinging raindrops as you yell insults at the poor, inhibited people who just can't find it in their hearts to let loose and get wet! my moms trying to make me volunteer at Camp Gabe (st gabe's bible camp thingy for little kids) next week even though i keep telling her that it is SUMMER and i have ZERO desire whatsoever to be productive, at all. does she hear me? no, she does not. also i went to borders because my moms decided that if i read ten 'good' books by the end of summer she'll give me twenty bucks. good deal, i say. first to be tackled: catcher in the rye. anlikers raved about it enough to spark my interest...its a pretty safe bet. tomorrow will be a very productive day considering its summer: piano practice for the first time in about a month, cleaning my room, starting these books and whatnot, starting to think about what to pack for the cape/ jhu. dude i have to pack for five weeks straight. that is a LONG time to be gone, and a LONGER time to have to pack for. watch me forget like all my cds or my cd player or something great like that. well thats all for now, im actually gonna go to bed pretty soon seeing as i got like five hours of sleep last night and six the night before... ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 10:06 PM w Laur listened to my cd player and i just went through about three months of archives. Leaving me with a very...resolved feeling. And it's sort of a cross between surveying tied knots and watching the last threads break on their own. Which really has nothing at all to do with what you'd expect. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 12:51 AM w It's late, it's summer, i watched never been kissed so i'm in that frame of mind, i'm overloaded on sugar...and so we get conversations that go like this. Miamigirl1288 [11:51 PM]: i loooooove chick flicks NcGaSweets25 [11:51 PM]: me 2 Miamigirl1288 [11:51 PM]: if i were a movie i would be a chickflick NcGaSweets25 [11:51 PM]: HAHAH Miamigirl1288 [11:51 PM]: predictable and funny but sweet as all :-D NcGaSweets25 [11:52 PM]: can always make ya cry, or cry itself NcGaSweets25 [11:52 PM]: lol Miamigirl1288 [11:52 PM]: :-) Miamigirl1288 [11:52 PM]: ways that i am a chick flick! Miamigirl1288 [11:52 PM]: hooooray NcGaSweets25 [11:53 PM]: :-D teresa is the classic romantic comedy NcGaSweets25 [11:53 PM]: AKA: chick flick ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 12:02 AM wMonday, June 16, 2003 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRIYA! posted by Teresa at 12:53 PM w -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- posted by Teresa at 12:00 AM wSunday, June 15, 2003 I just watched the most beautiful movie ever. Follow The Stars Home. It was on...abc? Channel 2. For serious though. It was really, really, really beautiful. Wow. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 11:03 PM w I love the sunshine. Have I mentioned that? I desperately wish I had some knowledge of html. I have the most boring blog template ever. I'd change it, but all of the other ones are either a) ten times more boring, b) ew, or c) taken by someone else I know. In conclusion, html hates me. I don't understand how a whole bunch of random symbols and things can give you pictures and pretty junk. All I know is the scrolly thing bold, underlined, italics, and the strikethrough thing. And with that you have your own personal gallery of my knowledge of html. From my keyboard to your monitor, my friends. Bleh. Oh well. Now it's off for more pool time and then out to dinner (the whole Father's Day thing, btw happy father's day). The end. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 5:58 PM w Children, don't stop dancing... Damn, I hate blogger sometimes. For instance when you write out an entry and then it randomly deletes it and you have no idea why. Right. However, I would like to comment that I greatly enjoyed Claire's post and the way she strung lyrics in it. Very nice. I may do the same, if it comes to me, with much credit given to her. Summer has been great. Is great. I love it. No thinking. Just mellow and relaxed and chillll. Beautiful. And for serious, it's times like these I remember how awesome it is to have our pool. Now, a quick recap of the week... Monday was sentimental, of course, but very very much a blast none the less. [should there be dashes...or one word...or something there?] Tuesday was nice. Deeds came over, big surprise, and we walked down to Fresh Market and bought croissants and cookies, and then came home and...er...tried to make lip gloss (looong story ;-) ), and watched taildaters- isn't that a lovely mindless show?- and trl, and then (of course) tanned and swam. Then I randomly decided to get my hair cut and had three inches chopped off. Very spur of the moment...deeds left and i was just like "hmm, what should I do this afternoon?"...and so I decided to cut my hair. I like it, I think. It's lighter and feels more summery. So, good stuff. And then I went to Chad's baseball game and Steph met me there and we had a good time. Wednesday I had to stay home and watch Chad all day while Dad worked and Mom took Gabby to some soccer camp. Then I went bowling with Laura...we never actually bowled ;-) but it's all good. Man, that was fun. I love that girl so much. And it amazes me that we're actually still friends after everything we have been through...but I don't know what I'd do without her. So Thursday I had to stay home all day to 'spend time with the relatives'...basically, sit around and not do anything while Liz, Grandma, Mom, and Dad go places. Yeah. Plus I got woken up at like 8 by the roof men. You light me up and then I fall for you You lay me down and then I call for you Stumbling on reasons that are far and few I'd let it all come down and then some for you... And then I was about to go lay out and it randomly started raining. So in general, Thursday was bleh. It has lost its goodness and its status as my favorite day in the past month or so. Sorry, Thursday. I think Tuesday is taking over. Anyway. Friday was nice. I cleaned closets all morning which was...er..interesting... Still everything happens for a reason Is no reason Not to ask myself If I am living it right... [sorry, i know anyone who wants to already knows those but they never seem to lose their appeal, ya know?...or maybe not...] And then around 2 I went shopping with Deeds...shirt, hoodie, necklace, food. Followed by sugar scrubs and random elevator trips...then back to her house to chill. Good times, good times. Then I started to realize I was living one big lie... Ah the joys of aol radio. Yesterday I slept till 12:30. That was fantabulistic, for serious. Got up and found that the door between the guestroom and the rec room had been taken off its hinges so that the used-to-be Dell desk could be moved into the rec room. The Dell is now on the floor, all wired and everything, so my little brother still lies on his stomach and uses it. It's very funny, if you ask me. But see, the used-to-be Dell desk will soon become the Gateway desk, and the used-to-be Gateway desk will be thrown away...about time, I say. And a new desk will be bought for the Dell, which will be put in my room and blessed with the internet. Score. Paint colors are to be picked out sometime this week and I'm still not sure. And yesterday afternoon (a day after everyone else, just to make things a little more fun) I got my report card. Two 4th quarter B's: Math and Spanish. Two exam B's: Debate (ha!) and Spanish. One year B: Spanish. Damn Banerjee, is all I have to say about that. Although it really is my fault for slacking off the entire second semester...but for serious. Banerjee's Spanish? Mom was irritated but as a 'reward' of sorts, I don't have to pay for any of JHU. Which means I have $250 in the bank, free for my use. $100 to shopping, $150 to room deco. Good stuff. And we went to Azteca last night and it was awesome. Virgin strawberry margarita, is all I have to say (ha, grandma bought it for me :-) ). I slept really badly last night, for no apparent reason. But anyway. I am the queen of writing incredibly long posts without even realizing it. Hrm. I had a really nice conversation with Soo Jin last night. Hooray. Everyone is out of town this week. What to do. But Lauren and I are going shopping tomorrow and prolly to Carowinds on Tuesday...and maybe I'll do a Caribou stint with Alex. lol. Life is sweet, so sweet. And I love this weather. I prolly jinxed it but oh well. I desperately want to go lay out. So, I will. I wish I could explain my state of mind right now. It's just...utterly tranquil. Refreshing, too. Like lemonade out by the pool. Or exactly the song you need on the radio. Or an awesome sale at your favorite store. Only, all three at once, and deeper too. Haha. ~~always~-*tess* ;-D posted by Teresa at 12:31 PM w I'm riding on the night train and Driving stolen cars Testing my nerves out on the boulevard Spontaneous combustion in the Corners of my mind Leaving in the lurch And I'm taking back what's mine ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 10:38 AM wThursday, June 12, 2003 Ah, family time... I would like to intercede with a brief but, in my humble opinion, humorous anecdote. So we (Grandma, Aunt Liz, Dad, Mom, Chad, and myself) are eating dinner, when the phone rings. Chad answers it and it's Uncle JC. Grandma jumps to the phone, while I try and figure out who, exactly, Uncle JC is. As it turns out, he is my great-uncle, or something to that effect. Grandma talks on the phone for about five minutes and then hangs up and comes back to the table and says, "James and Irene had their baby!" Dad, Mom, and Aunt Liz start looking all excited and asking questions about James and Irene's baby. And all I can think of to say is..."Who are James and Irene?" As it turns out, they are my second cousins, or something to that effect, and their newborn daughter is my second cousin twice removed, or something like that. I felt very much out of the family loop. But, congratulations to James and Irene! ~~always~-*tess* ;-D posted by Teresa at 10:26 PM wTuesday, June 10, 2003 From Elbie... [You and Others] -- Are you special? You bet. -- If yes, what makes you special? I can be friendly and crazy and I love to laugh and I'm me! -- If no, then why? ... -- What attracts you to the opposite (or same) sex? A sense of humor is such a must. If you don't smile, if you don't laugh...then you and I will grate on each other's last nerve within the first five minutes of meeting. -- What do you think makes you appeal to others? Well, Steph's gonna answer this one for ya, since she just called...and she says I'm open and I care about other people. And I'll second that, I care about yall a lot, and even when I screw up, hopefully you still know that. -- Exactly what makes a person attractive? Didn't I sort of already answer this? I like people who are at least a little outgoing...if they never open up to me, the friendship will never go anywhere. And I like people who are funny and fun and fun-loving, and as stupid as it sounds, smart people. Which I guess comes from always being in IB-type crowds, but I notice that with other people (steph says "yes, yes, yes") who aren't in Ib or whatever, I just don't connect as well. I have to be able to carry on a conversation with someone. And I like people who are deep, who seem to have another side to them. And yep, elbs, the most important thing is how someone treats you. If they don't listen, and care, and show it too, you can't put yourself on the line to give them back the same thing. And then you'll waste your time in life and never find the meaningful friendships that do count. -- Do you feel comfortable in crowds? 95% of the time, yeah. Big groups of friends are always a blast. -- Do you feel comfortable being touched (Hugged etc) by other people? Of course. It makes you feel loved, and that's great. Haha, manhugs. -- Do you feel comfortable sharing possessions with others? Haha, well it depends on the possession...honestly, I am definitely not as good at this as I should be. Which is a big fault. But hey, I'll work on it. -- Do you feel comfortable trusting others? Yes. 99% of the time, I trust people from the moment I meet them. Which can be a problem, as Steph points out, and as I've learned...but I seem to be one of those people who makes the same mistakes, with relish, over and over and over again. And so, I trust. And from my reflections, "I have discovered that to trust is to depend, and that it is unhealthy to depend on others, but impossible to trust only yourself". And credit to Midtown, too. -- Who, or what, has been the biggest positive influence on your life? I would probably have to say God and DD and my grandparents on my mom’s side. DD, because she is so very much there for me, constantly, and because it is amazing to have a friend who you really can depend on, and who really depends on you, and with whom there is just so much understanding. And God, of course. And Grandpa, because he is the most amazing, inspiring, persevering person I know. And Abita, because she is second in all of those things and just the most perfect role model God ever could have given me. -- Who, or what, has been the biggest negative influence on your life? Honestly…I love my Mom to death, I really and truly do, but I do think that often her perceptions of the world and how convicted of them she is have a negative influence on all of us. She can just be so controlling and arrogant and superior, and I worry that in some ways I’ve acquired these aspects of my personality as well. But she is wonderful most of the time, and I suppose all parents are really like that in the end. -- Who has been the greatest support to you? As Steph comments, These kind of questions really make you think. Yes, I guess my parents, because they have to be. But also, of course, DD, and all of the other friends who have stood by me in the same way. But I honestly think that I would be a 100% fundamentally different person today if DD were not my best friend. -- Who has been a hindrance or annoyance in your life? Well, there is a very obvious answer to this question, but I will keep it to myself. And if you need to know, I’m sure you already do. -- Do you find it easy to admit your wrong? It depends on the situation and the person it involves. In general, probably yes. But I think that’s human nature. Very few people enjoy jumping out and screaming “I’m wrong! I’m wrong! I’m WRONG!”…which reminds me of a shirt I saw the other day. It said “If a man speaks in a forest, and there is no woman around to hear him, then is he still wrong?” That, my friends, is profound. -- Do you find it easy to apologize? For little things, like leaving Steph at the Y with no ride for half an hour, or making a mess, or whatever, no. Of course not. But for big things that I don’t think I need to apologize for, of course I do. [Recent Things] -- What was the last dream you remember? Me and DD were running through a dark forest, and Michelle Branch was playing Goodbye To You and holding a goldfish like she does in the video, and then we found our parents, and they made us stop running, and we looked up ahead, and all the other freshmen were going to UNC or something together, and I started crying, but DD hit her mom and kept running, and then everyone ran away, and my mom yelled at me because she had to buy me a plane ticket so I could go to UNC too. Bizarre, I know. -- What do you think that dream was trying to tell you? Well I had this dream last night, and I know exactly where all three main parts came from. Let’s dissect, shall we? First of all, a couple of weeks ago, DD’s mom came by to take me to the Caribou study session, and for some reason as I was going out the door, my mom freaked and made me stay inside, and then yelled at me when she had to drive me. So yeah. And second of all, DD ‘s and my mom randomly decided yesterday afternoon that we should start doing our own laundry. They totally ganged up on us. And lastly, I always get super nostalgic at the end of the school year, and I always feel like we’re all leaving, and things will never be the same, etc, etc. Which is the truth, and so there we have the analyzation of my dream. -- What was the last thing you said to someone? I asked Steph if she’s listening. Which, fyi, she is. -- And the purpose for saying it? To figure out if she was listening or not. So if she wasn’t, I would stop reading aloud. -- What was the last good deed you did for someone? Well, I stole Steph’s money, does that count? I wrote my Grandfather’s Father’s Day card. And gave my little brother some loose change. -- What was the last bad turn you did for someone? I stole Steph’s money. Although, she let me, so ya know. The last actual bad thing was probably…knocking over this lightbulb in the garage and watching it break, but since it stayed in the box, I just put it away and didn’t say anything. So yeah. -- When was the last time you smiled? About 3 seconds ago. -- Why did you smile? Er…I’m happy? And I’m talking to Steph, and filling out this survey, and it’s fun. -- Who was the last friend you spoke to? If you don’t know by now, you suck. A lot. -- What do you think of that friend? Oh God, I love her to death. And I don’t know how I made it through like six years of going to school with her and not being friends at all. And I do NOT know how I would have made it through this year without her. -- How do you feel now? Fantabulistic. It’s summer, I love people, I love the world, I love the sunshine…and when it rains tomorrow, I will cry. Hah. [Reactions] How do you react to: A couple being affectionate together: depends on the couple, actually. Some people are really cute together, and it just makes you ‘awww’ like crazy, and it’s adorable. But when it goes er…too far, coughcough, or when it’s just weird between two people and looks forced, then it just makes you roll your eyes and want them to go away. A homosexual couple being affectionate together: Well, it’s sort of an unusual for me to see I guess, so I might react with a little bit of surprise at first, but in general, see above. A sex scene on TV/Film: If a hot guy’s involved, I’m good. Steph seconds that one, too . A person in tears before you: I comfort them and listen to them and ask what’s wrong, and, often, I start crying too. Someone being bullied/attacked: Well if it’s a good friend who’d do the same for me, of course I’ll take action. Otherwise, it’s just sort of become a part of life. A tragedy or accident in the News: We’re too immune to them now. But sometimes I do find myself stopping, and watching, and getting upset. Imagine if that guy who died through no fault of his own in that I-85 morning rush hour accident was your Dad. Some scandal on someone famous/important in the News: It’s funny how much more attention that gets in comparison to the above. Plus, there’s too much hype about it. It’s annoying. Charity advertisements (TV or otherwise): Well I look at the little kids cause they’re cute…but I honestly just pay about as much attention to em as other stuff. I give to my church, and I trust that all falls into good hands. And I know my parents give to lots of charities. So yeah. Praise from friends/loved ones: Of course it makes me feel awesome. Because these are the people who really do know you, and have been let in, and to know that through all that they still see your good traits is just awesome. Insults from friends/loved ones: Exactly the opposite, of course. Except for when it’s a flaw that I know I have, or something I honestly can’t help, and then I just listen and apologize and try to fix it the next time. Praise from strangers: It’s great. Not as meaningful, but sort of like the comparison between a sugar rush from a frappucino and fruit sugars. Praise from friends/loved ones being the fruit sugars. They’re so much better in the long run. Insults from strangers: To a certain extent, they don’t know me well enough to know what they’re talking about. And seriously people, ya can’t let everything get to you. Trust me, I know. [Opportunity] If the opportunity came, would you sooner: Travel to see a long lost old best friend, or a loved one: A long lost old best friend, I believe. Go out partying all night or stay in at home: Go out, of course. Live it up. Move to live in a new city, or live where you were raised: Well there’s no way I’m staying in Charlotte my whole life. Who knows where I’ll end up. Miami perhaps, or some place up north near where my parents grew up. Date a celebrity, or stick with what you know: It would be great to say I could marry John Mayer, but think about the logistical problems there. I mean it’s just a totally different world. Yet, I spose if the opportunity presented itself, and I was genuinely attracted, I’d go for it. But it’s not about celebrity or not, it’s about a connection. Start a career in music or within acting: Er…I’m nothing special at either, at all. But music I believe. Although I can’t really carry a tune, I’d love to write lyrics. Big surprise, I’m sure. Become rich or famous: Famous. You could get people to pay you for your autograph, and then you’d end up rich too! Or so I’ll believe. Live within a large house or small apartment: If I had people and loved ones to fill the large house, large house for sure. But if I were living alone, small apartment. It’s just cozier, less empty. money to hire a steady maid/garden service and have enough to buy nice furniture. Who cares. Not something I really think about. Marry young and live happily ever after, or have multiple fun flings forever: oh yes, definitely marry young and live happily forever. I mean, I don’t think it could necessarily work that way in real life, cause you change so much as a person, and you really do have to experience stuff to be enough of a human being to settle down, but in theory, DEFINITELY marry young and live happily ever after. Become known for famous or infamous deeds: Famous, I imagine. [Song Section] Name a song that reminds you of : Friendship: Avril Lavigne-Complicated, Michelle Branch- I’ll Always Be Right There, and of course! I’ll Be There, the friends theme song. Buzz buzz ;-) Happiness: Six Pence None The Richer- Don’t Dream It’s Over and Michelle Branch- Game Of Love, and also ignition remix and gotta be- deseree Love: shakira- the one. And john mayer- city love Lust/sex: john mayer- your body is a wonderland. Excitement: missy Elliott- work it, and prolly sean paul- get busy. Anger: John Mayer- walk on the ocean and jennifer love hewitt- can i go now Hate: there isn’t one. I don’t really get hateful feelings. Is that weird? Revenge: haha hit em up style is a great one for that. Or cry me a river, of course. Worry/Anxiety: coldplay- clocks Depression: well vanessa carlton- a thousand miles makes me really nostalgic in a depressive way, a combination of so much (laura :-) ) lol. So yeah. oh, and definitely third eye blind- blinded (when i see you)...but it's not really depressed, cuz i love the song, so much as really really contemplative. Death: jo dee messina (i think)- that was my life... and the wallflowers- one headlight Life: norah jones, anything. Especially shoot the moon and feelin the same way. And a song that: Cheers you up: all i wanna do by sheryl crow. and fell in love with a girl- white stripes, and roll to me- del amitri. Makes you depressed: iris- matchbox twenty. though, you know, i don’t have any really really depressing songs. it brings me down, but in a good mellow sort of way. You dance to: shania twain- man i feel like a woman You play whilst travelling: james taylor. Definitely. I’ve grown up listening to that in the car. Reminds you of a loved one: james taylor- shower the people, just in general. and destiny's child- nasty girl, and jewel- grey matter, and the ataris- in this diary. theyre really all just...loved ones in general. Reminds you of yourself: 3 am- matchbox twenty, and nightingale- norah jones, and, tritely enough, in the middle- jimmy eat world...oh and of course, rachel farris- i'm not the girl [The Future] What are you going to do after this? change into PJs, talk to people online, maybe write, listen to music, and sleep. What are you going to do tomorrow? Pray that it doesn’t rain so I can swim, and hopefully go out in the aftn/evening. What are your plans for the next five years? er yeah. keep on growing up, and live life. meaning mp and college and friends and fun! What do you honestly think will happen in another five years? i’ll be in college, doing some sort of english major i imagine, and just…yes. living life! but then again, who knows. Have you changed within the past five years? of course. if you haven’t changed since you were like 9/10/11, you really need to rethink who you are. no offense, of course. but yeah, i have, so much it’s scary. Do you think you'll change within another five years? yes. but not fundamentally, only in working to overcome the flaws i have now and in the changes that life’s experiences inevitably create. What career did you want as a child? well at first, ballerina. and then, doctor for a minute. and now, attorney or some sort of teacher. but always, a writer on the side. What career do you want now? see above. lol. and, of course, i want to be a mother. Do you want to live to be 100? i want to die when i’m as happy as i’m gonna get. right after i reach the epitome of my life, the most fulfilling moment, that’s when i want to die. Do you believe in life after death or reincarnation? life after death. [Finally] What do you want now? to keep doing what i’m doing. eating veggie pizza, talking to awesome peoples online, listening to good music, feeling great. How are you going to get/do it? er…i prolly won’t, for more than like an hour. cuz then ill get to feeling tired and have to go to bed. but if i were really gonna try, id shut myself and the computer/phone in a pretty glass box. so yeah. What question do you wish you were asked? What sorts of goals do you have for this summer? How would you answer that question? ...exciting ones. and let's leave it at that, shall we? ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 10:55 PM wMonday, June 09, 2003 This baby needs a 'rest'. Makes a bunch of sense right around now. But before we jump back into that mindset, here's the update: 1) I AM GETTING MY OWN ROOM. Yes yes yes. By the end of the summer, Gabby will have moved into the guestroom, and the Dell (with the addition of the internet) will have moved into my room. Sounds like a great tradeoff to me. 2) Yep, it's over. But since it had to end, this was a great afternoon to end it with. Claire, Ian, Spence, DD and I went to Cotswold for lunch and walking around and whatnot. :-) I had a blast, despite a little...er...confusion...but it all works itself out. Met up with Soo Jin too. Nice. And the 'manual labor' part of the math exam (60% of the total exam grade) consisted of moving math books for about 5 minutes and then playing 7-up and four corners in the quad for about an hour. And then talking to Lauren and Alex and Lila about end of the year stuff. And drama was long but not too bad. All I could think, writing that last sentence, was "This is the LAST thing that I HAVE to write for like the next nine weeks or so." I have to admit, that is a GREAT feeling. 3) Note to self: Letting my mom and DD's mom have long talks alone together is a BAD idea. They have decided to teach us more about responsibility we now have to do all our own laundry. That is a pain. Bleh to them. 4) The summer holds big plans, none of which beg to be elaborated upon, so I'll leave it at that. But I really didn't get any refreshment from spring break, so I've just about been running on empty this whole quarter. And the sun is shining and it just looks like the perfect time to recharge and refuel and just get myself relaxed and hyped up for next year. 5) Addition to the soundtrack: Disease- Matchbox Twenty. DEFINITELY. 6) Some interesting random things to point out: a. We are no longer freshmen. Wow. b. About one year, one week ago, we graduated from Marie G. Wow wow. c. In three years, we won't be able to say "See you next year". 7) Tonight is the universal home spa night. Or so Erin and I decided. 7th Heaven, John Mayer, chick flicks, a nice mindless book/magazine, bubble bath, icecream...what more do you need? And now, as was inevitable, I just have to comment on how much we've made it through in the past nine months. First days of school with those crazy folded up highlighted maps and the smell of new binders, that first assembly and the 'mosquito bites' speech, football games and cozy pictures, iceskating and frosting fights, wonders of collages and semester exams, crazyfun snow days and snow cat fights to bring em on, m&m double doozies and chocolate brownie frappucinos, 'buzz buzz' and caribou 'studying', mall trips and carowinds, movies and whatever else it takes to keep us busy on the weekends, sat cards and ip, funny emailed songs and "morning sickness", boob shirts and tingling tongues, bio nonsense and debate craziness, 'drahmah' and long phone conversations, 'spazzing out' and 'sexy like your my mom's and hot pink silk underwear', naked toga women and card games ;-), basketball and smart guys who rip their shirts and lose their glasses, cussing loudly in front of administration and random trips to get candy from unpronounceable's mom... It isn't the best feeling in the world to know things will never be the same again. But it is amazing to think that if we could pack this much awesomeness, and this much life into one year...just imagine the memories we'll have in three more. ~~always~-*teresa* ;-D posted by Teresa at 5:37 PM